Forgiving Loss
by blueangel326
Summary: Time heals all wounds, but can it heal the broken one and return a forgotten love after a mysterious call? Is it really possible to fall in love again? Recovering memories of the past to fight the present and to create a future together is never easy.
1. Chapter 1 Anticipation

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of Forgiving Loss. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

Chapter 1: Anticipation

"I'm so happy! Only two more days before my Inu comes home! I've missed him so much! Oh! I'd better clean the house; it's a big mess…"

'_Well, you can't blame yourself. Ever since Inuyasha left two weeks ago, you've done nothing but mope around, gorging yourself with ice cream and talking with the girls. Even they said you should in the least call him if you miss him that much.'_

'_Yeah, but I don't wanna be a burden and interfere with his work. Besides, it's only been two weeks; two more days won't kill me. I'll wait till he calls. Until then, I can busy myself with chores and only bother him when he gets home. That way, he won't get mad.'_

'_But you love it when he gets mad. He gets pouty and cuter and then you gotta baby him and he'll return the favor by taking you to your room, if you two make it that far, and…'_

'_Stop that thought! Oi, brother. That's the last thing I need; being reminded of what I've been deprived of. Great, now I sound like I only miss him for his body.'_

'_What's wrong with that?'_

'_Nothing I guess, seeing as any girl would miss her guy if he was built like Inuyasha. Especially if he knew just where to get a girl…' Kagome moaned slightly, wishing her mate, er, husband was there. That's when she realized what was going through her head. "Ah! Bad thoughts! Bad, bad, HORNY thoughts! I don't have time for this! I've just gotta get my mind off him for a while. Okay, kitchen, prepare to be swept, mopped, and cleaned!"_

Within the record of an hour and a half, Kagome had scrubbed the kitchen spotless, vacuumed the entire floor plan of the house, cleaned the bedrooms (mainly hers and Inuyasha's), wiped the windows clean as day, and made the bathrooms pearly white and silver.

Flopping down on the couch, Kagome's mind began wandering places. _'I need to restock on ramen,'_ she said in her mind while making a personal shopping list in the back of her head, _'seeing as I've somehow managed to become a glutton all of a sudden for ramen. Hey, that rhymed!'_

'_Boy, Kagome. You really have nothing else better to do. Glutton all of a sudden…for ramen? Yep, Inuyasha needs to get here soon before you start to really lose it.'_

'_Okay, so I'm bored. Sue me. How was I supposed to know that chores wouldn't last very long? Maybe I should have gone with him when he asked.'_

Three days before Inuyasha left, he received a call from his boss's headquarters saying that they needed some of their best men on duty for bodyguards for the United Nations' leaders. He got pissed off saying that he just got on his two months' vacation with pay and wasn't about to go in for some _'stuck-up, snotty-nosed, pompous jackasses that don't give a rat's ass about the men that protect them' _especially since he was already assigned to protect the US's primary leaders along with his brother, Sesshoumaru, at his side. Sesshoumaru had already been notified and much preferred not to work with his 'pathetic hanyou of a brother'. With that statement said, Inuyasha told them yes in a very unnecessary way and said that he would shove Tetsusaiga up anybody else's asses if they called him for duty on the rest of his vacation from the agency.

After slamming down the phone and telling Kagome what the situation was, he asked if she wanted to come along, seeing as he didn't want to leave her alone.

"_No, that's okay. I'll be alright alone for a week or two."_

"_Are you sure? I mean, I've got a lot of enemies who would love to get their dirty little hands on my mate. Besides, I don't want to leave you all alone with our pup."_

"_Don't worry, I'll be alright. If I go, I'll just get in the way. I'll just call the girls if I need anything. When you think about it, two weeks isn't a long time."_

"_But, Kagome…"_

"_Don't argue with me. I'm telling you, I'll be fine. You just go do your job." Inuyasha suddenly smirked curiously. Kagome had always become uneasy and skittish by this look. He growled slightly as he walked slowly towards Kagome. She backed up and tripped on a shirt that was lying on the floor from a few nights ago. "Wh-What are you doing?" she asked as she fell on the bed and he covered her immediately._

"_My job," he said before claiming her lips._

"_But… don't you have to go?" she said as she broke the kiss._

"_I don't have to leave till tomorrow. I've got plenty of time."_

"_But…"_

"_You talk too much, wench. Shut up and kiss me."_

A small shrill of excitement went down her spine as she had almost wished that they didn't share that night together because that next morning, she woke to the absence of his warmth and saw a note that he left saying the agency needed him to leave early the next day. Her anticipation for him was, needless to say, mounting greatly as each second passed.

She started staring at the clock, intent on making it tick faster so that it was the next day. After finally convincing herself that the clock was a dumb, merciless object that man created so as to torture those who willed time to go by faster, she turned her attention to the phone. She hadn't heard from Inuyasha since that night over two weeks ago and didn't want to be a bother. Still, she wished he would call her.

Her eyes started drooping slightly as her boredom became a very big thing considering her attention span at the moment. Yawning, she decided to take a nap to make time go by faster. She stretched out on her couch and slowly drifted to sleep.

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Kagome woke up to the incessant ringing of the phone. She opened her eyes and stared at it for a good amount of time before discerning what the noise was meant to do besides wake her up from a much-needed nap.

She rolled over to reach for the phone, and, in her foggy memory, she thought she was lying on her bed and fell. After recovering from the fall, she grabbed for the phone on the living room table. "Hello? Zenya residence."

"_Oi, wench! About time!"_

"Inuyasha?"

"_What the hell took you so long? I've been calling for the past hour!"_

"Sorry. I was sleeping and hadn't realized the phone was ringing." She heard a very distinct 'Feh!' but smiled at his acceptance of an apology. "So, how's everything at the UN?"

"_The bastards are alright. They had a damn dispute over where the next science lab should be and what type of wine they should give to the Queen of England for her birthday. I've never heard of a dumber argument in my entire life. It's a stupid flimsy dome with a toothpick sticking out the skylight and some cheap crap that rich people like to throw around! They've wasted a good two weeks of my time and patience! If I see another pompous asshole I swear he's gonna get a feel of Tetsusaiga up his…"_

"Okay, Inuyasha, I got enough of a visual. I meant how are _you_ doing?"

"_Fine, I guess, other than my nerves being racked on protecting dumbass people that don't know how to use the bathroom without someone holding their hands." Inuyasha heard Kagome giggling on the other side of the phone. "What the hell is so funny, wench?"_

"Nothing. I just remember how much I've missed you these past two weeks. I'm glad you're coming home the day after tomorrow."

"_Kagome…I'm sorry."_

"You're sorry? For what?"

"_I can't come home until next week."_

"What? But, why?"

"_The agency needs me to stay here a little longer. They say that the president might be in danger. They got a lead from some anonymous saying that someone was after the president. I got to stay until they can get the secret service here in the United Kingdom. That should take only three days. Then the flight they got me scheduled for will take two days to get to San Francisco, then it's gonna be a day before they get a flight to Shanghai, and I gotta wait till the next day before another flight leaves for Tokyo. I want to come home sooner but that's the fastest flight I got since Sesshoumaru's damn plane had already left before they told us about the threat, and his dumbass plane was already half-way across India. Sorry, Kagome, but can you wait a little longer for me?"_

"Okay, I understand. I can wait a little longer for you. But, remember, you'll owe me."

"_I don't like the sound of that. What the hell do you mean by that, bitch?"_

"I want extra time with your ears since your leaving me here alone for an extra week."

"_What the fuck?! I asked if you wanted to come but you said no and insisted that you stay there so that you wouldn't be in the way. It's your own damn fault."_

"No, it's not. If you hadn't left me alone so goddamn early in the morning, I would have probably changed my mind."

"_Hey, watch the mouth."_

"What I can't swear, but you can? That's unfair. I'll be adding on to the time with the ears."

"_What the fuck?! Just because I swear doesn't mean you can whenever you goddamn please to, bitch."_

"Still adding on…"

"_Just drop it, wench."_

"So, how's the president?"

"_Dumb as ever. They reelected the bastard for four more years. I'll be damned if I ever get that dumb, if that's possible." He heard Kagome try to stifle a giggle. He sighed. "So, how's the pup?"_

Kagome looked at her still flat belly and placed her free hand over it. "He- she- it- the baby's fine. Not like it's going anywhere for the moment."

"_Just be careful."_

"You worry too much, Inuyasha. It's not like I plan on going on a roller coaster anytime soon."

"_Feh, you better not, wench."_

"You worry _still _too much."

"_What's wrong with that? I gotta worry about protecting you and the pup from now on. Maybe even pups."_

"Don't even kid like that. Do you know how much pain that'll be if…"

"_You'll live. Besides, it can't be that bad."_

"That's what you think. Besides, what do you think I've been doing for the past three months? Lollygagging around the city, taking every risk that comes across my path? I thought you knew me better than that."

"_Still, be careful. I don't trust you when you're alone. You start acting crazy."_

"That hurts Inuyasha! I can't believe you don't trust me!"

"_Don't get me wrong. I trust you alright, just not when you're by yourself. You're too open with yourself. People can read you if you're not careful."_

"I don't know what you're talking about. Name one time."

"_Okay, you asked for it. Remember that one day during college when we were studying and I fell asleep you decided to take a shower and forgot to close the door."_

"Yeah, and?"

"_That's a case of you leaving yourself open. You didn't really know me very much and just assumed that I wouldn't do anything. I could've been one of those rapists or something hiding in college. Then there was that time when one of our old bosses at the agency had criticized you and took you over the edge of your nerves. You started mouthing bad words at him and he noticed from one of the mirrors you making faces at him. You almost got your butt flamed if I hadn't stepped in to help. That's a case of people being able to read your actions since you don't hide your feelings very well from others. Another example would be…"_

"Okay, okay, so I'm an open book. What's so wrong with that?"

"_Nothing, unless you want others to be able to know your weaknesses."_

"Just because you never really showed your feelings very well doesn't mean that I should have to hide mine. Just drop the subject. Oh, yeah, heard from Miroku and he asked about you few days ago."

"_What the hell does that hentai want?"_

"Nothing. He just wanted to stop and say hi. He wanted some advice from you about dealing with women. I told him that I could help him with that but he was too shy about it to ask from me. He was trying to think of ways of getting Sango out with him since she's still mad at him for groping her when she was about to kiss him."

"_Can't say the lecher didn't deserve it."_

"Yeah, but he wants to propose to Sango. He's been wanting to since they graduated from college together and just finally got the nerve to when she was about to kiss him. I think it's sweet!"

"_What's so 'sweet' about him getting slapped?"_

"Weren't you even listening? I was talking about him wanting to propose. Do you remember when you first proposed to me? That was the happiest moment in my life, well, other than our first time together."

Kagome blushed and heard Inuyasha snort slightly but could tell by his tone that he was turning red too. _"Yeah, I remember. That was the worst moment of my life. You took so damn long to say yes. I thought I was going to die from embarrassment and rejection!"_

"I couldn't help it. I was flustered and couldn't find my voice at first. Besides, I didn't think you were gonna do that in front of the college graduates and everybody else. I thought I was gonna pass out!"

"_Feh! You could've at least nodded or show some sort of agreement instead of me just standing there feeling like a fool…or something…"_

Kagome let out a small laugh. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have proposed there. _I_ could've dropped dead from the shock if I hadn't been so excited."

"_Whatever."_

"I love you, Inu."

"_Kagome…"_

Kagome suddenly heard static, and Inuyasha's words were muffled. "Inuyasha?" She banged the phone against her hand. "Inuyasha, are you there? Inuyasha?!"

The static suddenly stopped and Kagome heard Inuyasha's voice. _"Kagome, I'm here."_

"What happened?"

"_Feh, damn phone." Kagome shrugged it off. "Kagome, I have to tell you something."_

He suddenly sounded so serious. "Inuyasha? You sound a little different. Is something wrong?"

She heard him hesitate a moment before he began speaking. _"Listen Kagome. I…I don't think things are working out."_

"Why? Is something wrong, Inuyasha? Did something happen?"

"_No, nothing's wrong here. It's...us."_

"_Us_? What do you mean? Tell me what's wrong, Inuyasha. You're not making any sense!"

"_Kagome, I…I want a divorce."_

The phone went dead.

**Zenya: night before**

**Hello, I'm blueangel326, for those of you who do not know me, author of currently Lost Memories, Engaging Enemies, and Say Goodbye on FFnet, and Adept Storm on fictionpress(dot)com. I suggest you read them because that would make this girl very happy. To all of my fans and readers, I am so very sorry for not updating anything much last week. **

**Just so that people don't get mad and stop reading this fic, which I would dread, I am not saying that the US president in this fic was Bush and I'm not saying that our presidents are stupid. I just made Inuyasha say that because that is what I think he would say if he lived in this modern day and era. That was only to make him seem in character, not to make fun of our government and political figures, though I do have my own mind to say something, just not old enough to show it by voting. Damn those voting restrictions!**

**I meant to update all of my stories Monday but the fact that I had suddenly moved while in school and just got access to my computer Sunday afternoon really knocked me off schedule, seeing as how I was supposed to read the rest of Chronicles in which I had saved on my thumb drive. That, and my internet's still down. EE might have to wait a while because that usually takes a while to type since my imagination only sparks to life when I'm in a really bad mood and need something to humor me, and when I start acting really hyper. SG should be updated within the next two days since that is easier to type since it's already written on paper.**

**I have to leave you there for the moment, at least until I can update everything else. Ja ne!**

**BA326's final thoughts:**

How can so many people not know what a hymen is? Is my middle school the only middle school that knew what hymens were because we are all warp-minded? Why did that idiot read the whole definition of what a hymen is to the class aloud without reading it to himself first? Boys are stupid.


	2. Chapter 2 Unavoidable

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of Forgiving Loss. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

Chapter 2: Unavoidable

Kagome dropped the phone. _"I want a divorce."_

'_Divorce? Why…Why would he…After all this time he didn't…He didn't love me? But why? I don't understand. It doesn't make any sense. Why would he want a divorce? I thought he loved being with me. He even told me himself, over and over again. Why did he change so suddenly?'_

'_Inuyasha must not have loved you in the first place. There's no other explanation. He just stopped loving you and only used you. He never loved you. You must have done something that he didn't like and this is only payback.'_

'_But Inuyasha would never do something like this. It wouldn't make sense. We've been married for over a year and he decided that he wanted a baby. Why else would we have made love on that one night? It just doesn't add up!'_

Tears streamed down Kagome's face as she tried to figure out the meaning of his words. Though he never said it out in the open, she knew he loved her. Why else would he propose to her, have made love with her so many times, decide to have a baby with her?

_The baby. That fateful night, Kagome had been working on some things for her job, Seikyo no Tenshi Agency, where she, Inuyasha, and their friends worked. She was one of the agency's top spiritualist and purifiers, since the agency was about dealing with unwanted youkai and protecting people and/or valuables for a set amount of time. Kagome was finishing some paperwork that she had to fill out as her position as a part-time secretary, depending on whether she was needed or not when dealing with youkai. As she began reading over the content of a contract, she felt arms drape over her shoulders and lips fall onto the crook of her neck._

"_Inuyasha…" she muttered as a small gasp escaped her lips._

"_I'm home," Inuyasha said against her neck._

_She shivered as his breath ran over her skin. "I-I didn't hear you come in."_

"_That's because I didn't want you to. Now why don't you put that down and come with me."_

"_Where are we going?"_

"_Do you have to ask?" He released her and stood up straight._

"_But…I thought tonight was a full moon." Kagome turned to see Inuyasha nod._

"_It is."_

"_But then…that means…" Kagome saw the glint of elation as he smiled a little. Kagome managed off the couch and lunged into his arms. "So, you really want a baby now?"_

"_Only if you're ready." Kagome nodded. She looked up at him and smiled._

The baby was her bond to him when he wasn't there, but now, the link felt as if it had been disconnected by Inuyasha's sharp words. The baby was still there in her, but the connection between her and Inuyasha felt as if it were severed or gone.

The phone rang. Kagome shook her head, refusing to answer it, knowing that Inuyasha was on the other line. She refused to touch it, refused to hear his voice, refused to hear his words for her.

"_I want a divorce."_

No, she wouldn't listen, wouldn't listen to what her once thought to be lover, wouldn't listen to reason, wouldn't listen to her heart. She ran out of the house, not locking the door, not taking her keys or umbrella as the sky had become gray with signs of the oncoming rain.

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"Damn it! What the fuck happened with the connection? And why the hell isn't she picking up the phone?"

Inuyasha redialed the number to his house, hoping that Kagome would answer the phone this time. He was greeted by the sound of Kagome's and his own voice on the answer machine:

"_Hello, you've reached Inuyasha and Kagome…"_

"_And we're busy right now, so don't call back or you will have five seconds to live before I shove Tetsusaiga up your…"_

"_Inuyasha! Please leave a message after the tone and…"_

"_This message will be sent right back to you and explode in five, four, three…"_

"_Inuyasha! We'll get back with you as soon as possible. Thanks for calling and you have a…"_

"_Damn sword up your ass if you call again!"_

"_Inuyasha!"_

"_**BEEP**"_

"Kagome, it's me. Answer the damn phone, wench! Kagome! Call me on my cell as soon as you get this message."

He hung up his phone. _'What the hell happened?'_

"_I love you, Inu."_

"_Kagome, I'm sorry I'm not there with you." That's when the phone disconnected. "Kagome? Hello?" He tried calling back, but it said the line was busy. "Why's the line busy?" He tried calling back a few times, but the connection never went through, until now._

Inuyasha sighed as he leaned against the wall of the hotel he had stayed in for the night before. "Something doesn't feel right and Kagome won't answer the phone. If that ass of a brother of mine would have waited until I got on, I could've been there by now. And unless I can get through to Kagome, I won't know what's making me feel uneasy until next week."

He looked up to the sky as clouds began forming over London, wondering if Kagome was alright. He heaved another sigh and opened his phone to try to talk to Kagome.

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Kagome ran. She ran as hard as she could away from the things that she couldn't understand. She ran away from the things that she knew, from the things that loved dearly, but most of all, she ran away from everything that reminded her of Inuyasha.

But that would mean running away from her life and her heart.

Rain began falling lightly on the ground and drenched Kagome's clothes. She didn't care. The rain only added on to her tears. She still didn't care. Her heart told her to go back and talk to Inuyasha. She didn't want to care as her bare feet splashed in the already forming puddles. The rain came harder and she slipped on the slippery surface. Kagome easily picked herself up and continued fleeing from the life she knew, unaware of the scratches that stung in the rain.

She didn't want to care, to know, to hear, to feel the things that Inuyasha's words had produced.

Kagome inadvertently ran into the park, not paying attention of the looks she got from the people she passed. She ran deep into the trees of the place where old memories ran through her mind. _'He said he loved me. He said he wanted to be with me. He said that he would never try to hurt me. He said that and I believed him. How could I have been so foolish?' _The evening sky became darkened as heavier clouds of rain released their burden onto her.

Losing her footing once again, Kagome landed in the soft, wet grass as she remembered her first time with him.

_Kagome and Inuyasha had been studying at Kagome's apartment. Her roommates were out for the night and wouldn't be back until noon the next day. They were studying for their exit exams and it became very late. _

_Kagome was about to ask Inuyasha another question for Social Science when she noticed he was asleep on her small sofa. She was tempted to wake him up but saw the content look on his face as he slept. Kagome got up and began quietly putting away their books and notes. She saw the time and decided to take a bath before she too went to bed for the night._

_Checking to make sure Inuyasha was still asleep, she slipped into the bathroom and began filling the tub. She ran the water till it was close to the edge and slipped in. She relaxed in the warm soothing water as she let the tension out of her muscles from the day's tiring of her body. After a few minutes, she sat up to wash herself._

"_You never learn, do you?"_

_Kagome eeped when she heard the voice. She tilted her head some to look back at Inuyasha who was standing behind her a few feet. In her absentmindedness, she forgot to close the door behind her before getting in. "You scared the life out of me! I thought you were asleep."_

"_As I was all the other times when you decided to hop off to the bathroom for a bath or shower. You really need to learn how to close the door when someone's in your apartment, or do you just let strangers in your house while you bathe with the door open?"_

_Kagome wasn't too surprised besides him sneaking up on her. He caught her naked several times before and she was used to it. "Scrub my back, will you?"_

_He rolled his eyes and took the cloth as he gently ran the cloth over her smooth, pale back. He took his time as Kagome shuttered under his touch. When he finished, she tilted her head back some._

"_Thank you." He just looked at her. "Uh, don't you think you should leave now? I gotta dry off." He muttered a 'Feh' and walked to the door. She heard it close and began ringing her hair out. She stood up, having pulled the drain out of the tub. She reached for the towel and pulled it around her and started turning around to step out of the tub when she felt strong arms pull her to a bare body. She gasped as she realized that Inuyasha was naked. "I-Inu…yasha?"_

_Her answer was a growl as he dipped his head and began nuzzling against her neck. She gasped as his lips sought out the paleness of her flesh. He kissed her gently as his fangs grazed over the sensitive skin of her neck. Her arms rose to seek out the touch of his ears but his arms pinned hers to her side as he trailed his lips along her collarbone. Her torture became his pleasure as she let fall her towel and he kissed her with a searing passion that ignited the fire between the two as all coherent thought became nothing but senseless ideas to the two. The world around them no longer existed as only those two remained, loving the other with only that of which could heal their wounds._

The one thing that Kagome needed at the moment, the love of the man she cherished so dearly.

Kagome sat up, looking up to the sky that had become dark from night and the rain. It was dark, so as her heart was. Dark, empty, void of any light that she could not produce. The tears had stopped, her body felt numb from the cold and from her desire to escape this world.

"Kagome?"

Kagome looked up to see Rin, one of her friends that she always hung out with, at and out of work. Rin ran to her, seeing her friend on the ground, her face familiar to her, even in the dark. "Kagome, are you okay?"

"Rin… no, I…"

"What's wrong?"

"Inuyasha… he… He wants a divorce," Kagome managed to choke out, her voice trembling as all feeling came back to her.

"Inuyasha what?!"

"It's nothing. I'm okay." Her face betrayed her words as her tears spilled out her eyes. She stood up, trying to ignore her friend's questioning stare.

"Kagome, you're not okay. Come with me. You need to lie down before you get worse."

"No, really, I'm fine. It's nothing."

Rin took hold of Kagome's shoulder and turned her to see the tears that she tried to keep at bay. "Kagome?"

Kagome looked at her concerned friend and finally broke. She let the tears fall freely as her friend tried to console her. It wasn't enough.

"I don't understand, Rin. He's never acted like that before. I've always known what he wanted or how much he loved me, but now, it's as if I don't even know him anymore. I thought I knew him. I thought he loved me. It doesn't make sense."

"It'll be alright Kagome. It'll be all right. We'll find out what's gotten into him."

"No, you don't get it. It won't be all right. If he really meant it, I don't know what I'm gonna do! He's always been close to me ever since I first met him. If he really doesn't love me anymore, than I'll just be nothing."

"Kagome, we've gotta get you home. You need to calm yourself."

"No!" Kagome broke away from Rin. "I can't go back there. If I do, then that means that I've got to hear the truth. I can't go back to him. Not if it means to feel like this!"

Kagome took off running again. "Kagome, wait!" Rin tried to catch up to her friend.

Kagome couldn't see from her tears and the thick rainfall. She stopped to see where she was going and realized she was in the middle of a street. She saw the light coming from a car on the street and wasn't able to move.

"KAGOME!!!" But Rin's scream was lost as the driver stomped on the brakes and the car skidded.

At the Zenya residence, the phone was ringing nonstop, the hanyou on the other side of the line unaware of the events happening in Tokyo.

**Seikyo no Tenshi: Angel of Death**

**Hehe, sorry, but gotta leave you there for the moment. I gotta go update an original fiction of mine and give my people another chapter of Engaging Enemies since I didn't update last week. Oh, and sorry about using _Sueric's_ thing for having children with a hanyou. It's just a little twisted up, but now I gotta go apologize to her for stealing an idea of hers. Ja ne!**

**BA326's Final Thoughts:**

I wonder how many times a girl can get hit on in a week when there're these jackasses that keep coming up with the lamest pickup lines ever. "I like the way your shoes squeak?" "I like your braids?" Where do they come up with this stuff?! I gotta start wearing more baggy clothes from now on to make me look like a boy. That way let's see some guy try to come up to a person that looks like a boy and say, "Hey, honey, you looking hot today. Come over here shorty." If not, I'll just tell them to fuck off or just flick them off.


	3. Chapter 3 Losing Grip

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of Forgiving Loss. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

Chapter 3: Losing Grip

"Look, guys, she's waking up!"

Kagome slowly fluttered her eyes open, adjusting herself to the dim light of the room.

"Kagome, are you alright?" asked a young man, his emerald green eyes sparkling with tears.

"H-Huh? Wha- Where am I?"

"You're in the Mizato Hospital. Kagome, we were so worried," a girl with dark, long hair said, almost near tears.

"Worried? About what?"

"Kagome, you ran into the middle of a street and the car wasn't able to stop so you got hit."

"I was hit by a car?"

A girl with blonde hair nodded. "Yeah, you scared us all, you know. Please tell us you're okay."

"I guess, but could you please tell me …who are you all?"

Everyone in the room gasped.

One of the girls with golden yellow-brown eyes and dark hair with a tint of blue stepped to side of the bed. "Kagome, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm guessing I'm Kagome, but yeah, I think. I just don't know who you are."

"I'm Rin, Rin. Don't you remember?"

"No, not that I can say."

"I'm Rin, and there's Sango and Shippou and Kirara. Please tell me you remember and this is all some sort of joke."

"I'm sorry, but I don't really know you, though I can say you look familiar. Should I know you people?"

"Oh, no, she has amnesia," said the blonde.

"You have to at least remember Inuyasha, right?" asked the girl with dark hair and eyes.

"Inuyasha? Who's he?"

Rin sighed, finally giving up. "The grief from the phone call and the car accident must have sent you into a state of shock, causing you to have amnesia. That's the only conclusion that I can come up with, unless the doctors can come up with another scenario."

The door to the small room opened and a nurse came in. "I see the patient has awakened. How are you feeling dear?"

"She's not doing well. We think she has amnesia. She doesn't remember us or anything," spoke the blonde, who was apparently Kirara.

"Oh dear, that just won't do. We'll have to do more examinations of her to make sure she doesn't have a concussion. Oh, and Ms. Aoikone?"

"Yes?" Rin answered.

"Could you please go to the waiting room for a moment? Ms. Zenya's doctor would like to ask you a few questions."

"Thank you. Excuse me guys."

Rin walked out of the room and shut the door quietly behind her. She walked down towards the data clerk's desk and across from there was the waiting room for the second floor. She walked in to see Dr. Mangetsu looking through some papers.

"Excuse me, Dr. Mangetsu, you wanted to see me?"

The young doctor looked up from his paperwork and smiled slightly at Rin. "Yes, Ms. Aoikone. I wanted to ask you a few questions about the accident. Please, follow me." He led Rin down another hall and to his office. He sat down his papers and gestured for her to sit down in one of the chairs facing his desk.

"You were there at the moment of the car accident, were you not?"

"Yes, I was. I wish I could have done something, but I guess I couldn't move myself to help my friend."

"Don't fret too much about it. It wasn't your fault; there is no one to blame here for what has been done. Now, you're the friend of Mrs. Zenya?"

"Yes. We've known each other since high school. We were going to be sister-in-laws since I'm marrying her husband's brother within the next two months."

"I see. And you talked with her just before the accident?"

"Yes. I was walking through the park when I saw her sitting in the grass while it was raining. She was pretty saddened."

"Tell me, what happened during the time that you were with her before the accident?"

"She told me that her husband had just called from Britain and said he wanted a divorce. She must have been distressed after that and ran to the park without knowing it; that's what I can guess she did seeing as her car was still at the house. I wanted to take her home so that she could calm herself. You see, she was already in bad shape since she was worried about her husband being gone for two weeks and hadn't spoke to him since he left. She told me she didn't want to go back to the house, to him and took off running. She ran in the middle of the street without knowing it, and when I arrived it was too late." Rin was near tears again as she recollected the events from a few hours ago.

"Is there anything else?"

"Anything else?"

"Did you notice something strange about the incident or the past events?"

"Besides the fact that my friend's husband has decided that he wants a divorce?! No, there isn't anything strange! Kagome has been told that she wasn't worthy enough for a baka like Inuyasha when it seems like that if he truly wants a divorce, then he's been only using Kagome! My friend in there has lost her baby, her memory, and even the one person that mattered to her if nothing else mattered. She has done nothing to deserve this, and yet that baka Inuyasha wants to make her suffer! Seriously, the world is fine and dandy and nothing's out of place while my best friend suffers unknowingly. Why else do you think she has amnesia? Getting a shocking and most depressing phone call and being hit by a car is not something that you can get away without a scratch!"

"Ms. Aoikone, calm down. I know you're frustrated over Mrs. Zenya's condition, but please do not take it out on anyone that is just trying to help. I am simply asking if you remember Mrs. Zenya telling you about the phone conversation other than that her husband wanted a divorce."

"Other than what I've told you, no. She only managed to get out that Inuyasha wanted a divorce and she started to break down crying."

"Thank you, miss. That is all I request from you for today. You may leave if you please."

Dr. Mangetsu started going some more papers as Rin got up to leave. Then she turned back to him and asked, "Do you know if Kagome will recover her memory soon?"

"It's uncertain. All I can say is that we will be working for the next few days trying to figure out a way to help diagnose the problem and hope to solve it. Mrs. Zenya had to have experienced a very great amount of shock to have come down to this, so the only way to find out is to get in touch with Mr. Zenya."

'_No friggin' duh!' "Thank you, doctor." Rin walked out of the office exasperated. 'Is there not one competent doctor in this whole hospital that can point out more than just the obvious? Of course Kagome experienced a lot of shock. I was there! Oh, Kagome. What happened over the phone to have caused this to happen?'_

Rin hadn't been looking where she was going and bumped into someone. She stumbled backwards but kept her balance. "Sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going and…Sesshoumaru?"

"Rin, I received your message. What has happened?" Sesshoumaru looked down at Rin as tears welled up in her eyes once more for that day.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she inadvertently called him by her childhood name as she leaned in to his chest. She began bawling in arms, mumbling incoherent words.

Sesshoumaru placed his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back some so that he could make sense of her words. "Rin, what has happened to the miko?"

"She was…was hit by a car…Inuyasha told her…he wanted a divorce……Kagome's lost h-her…"

"Kagome's lost her what?"

"Memory. She's lost her memory and her baby. She doesn't remember anything."

"Come, Rin, let's sit down so you can calm yourself. I did not know my little brother to be this thick-headed as to do such a thing."

Rin showed him the way to Kagome's room as she tried to compose herself.

When they walked in, Kagome had a very shocked and saddened look on her face. "What has happened here?" Sesshoumaru asked as he sat Rin in a chair.

"I lost a baby. I did not know that I had been pregnant. I feel so reckless and ashamed."

"Do not blame yourself, miko. My worthless brother should be the one to blame."

"You called me miko. Why is that?"

"Because you…"

"That's enough for today. My patient needs her rest and I will not allow you to disrupt her anymore. It is way past visiting hours. You may come back at ten o'clock tomorrow if you must speak with her."

Rin stood up. "When will she be up for discharge?"

"Tomorrow evening at the earliest. We have to do some screenings in the morning before she can be released. Are you a relative?"

"Not exactly. This is her brother-in-law, and I'm his fiancée. We will be taking her to our house since no one else is at her home. Her mother and grandfather are out of town and her brother is just settling in college in Kyoto so we're her closest relatives in town."

"Well, she can go home with you tomorrow. You will have to fill out the discharge papers tomorrow afternoon, but for now, I must ask you to leave for the night. Good night."

Everyone got up and began exiting the room. Kagome waved back to them. "Goodbye everybody."

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"So I have a brother?"

Rin nodded as she turned out of the hospital the next evening. "Yes, his name's Souta. Do you remember Souta?"

"No, but his name sounds familiar. I can't remember much of anything right now. Did the doctors say anything about how long before I get my memory back?"

"No. They said that there are many different cases of amnesia and each takes its time, depending on what caused the problem. They say yours is the one of the most severe and to just keep reminding you gradually about your life and the things you know." Rin turned onto the freeway towards her house.

"That man, the one that you came in with."

"Sesshoumaru? What about him?"

"He called me _'miko'_. Why is that?"

"He was referring to you as a sort of priestess. You have immense spiritual power and can purify youkai and the like. You have extraordinary powers that most people could not even fathom."

"I'm a priestess? Wow. So, do I use my powers?"

"Yeah, when you're on a job for the agency."

"Agency?"

"Oh, sorry. You work for the _Seikyo no Tenshi Agency_ with the rest of us. We do business with exterminating apparitions and youkai. Some of us also work as makeshift bodyguards or protectorates. You help us find where the youkai are or whatever is plaguing the client. We're known world-wide."

"That's pretty cool. So everybody that visited me last night, they all work for this agency?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Kirara and Sango are exterminators, Shippou is usually the illusionist that disguises himself as the target of the enemy or is just a decoy, and Sesshoumaru is one of the major protectors/bodyguards. I just dabble a little in everything, I guess. I don't like to be one thing for an extended amount of period."

"I don't know why, but some of you don't seem to be human. Why's that?"

"Ah, that's one of your powers. You can sense if a youkai is hiding as a human or other creature. Kirara is part fire neko youkai, part human, Shippou is a kitsune youkai, Sesshoumaru is a poison inu youkai, and I'm part ice neko youkai, well, more like a snow leopard, but yeah. You'll meet Ayame and Kouga later who are wolf youkai. We all wear special charms that keep us from looking apart from the humans. There's also Miroku who is a spiritualist like you."

"So you're basically killing your own kind?"

"Not exactly how I would put it. We hunt them, but we don't actually kill them. There are certain penitentiaries that house youkai. Only the most extreme cases are essentially killed, but that doesn't happen often. It's just like how the laws that humans put up to control their kind. This is just for youkai."

"Well that makes sense. This Sesshoumaru person, you said that you are my closest relatives in town. You said he's my brother-in-law, so that makes you my sister-in-law?"

Rin blushed slightly. "Yeah, kinda. It's not official yet. We're not getting married until next month."

Kagome smiled. "You must really love him. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." Rin's blush deepened as she turned off the freeway.

"So, his brother is my husband? Since you said that I had a baby, I am assuming that I have a husband, right?"

The content look on Rin's face disappeared. "Yeah, his name is Inuyasha."

"Why do you look mad when you say that?"

Rin blinked, trying to make her face indifferent to her emotions. "It's nothing. We're here."

Kagome looked at the mansion that was about two miles from downtown Tokyo. The outside gave a majestic outlook as the front yard was bigger than two hospitals side by side. Kagome didn't even want to imagine how big the backyard was.

"This is your house? It's huge."

"It's really Sesshoumaru's house. He inherited it from his father when he graduated."

"Graduation from college?"

"More like high school." Kagome's jaw dropped. Rin smiled and tugged at her hand. "Come on, I'll show you around."

The girls laughed as Rin shared with Kagome some of her happier moments when they were in college. Sesshoumaru became an onlooker as he stared down at the two from his office on the third floor. His office phone rang along with his cell phone, which happened to be connected with the office. He looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Inuyasha's cell.

He picked up the phone and answered, "Hello, little brother."

"_Finally, where the hell is everybody? I've been trying to reach someone for the past day and a half!"_

"Maybe they refuse to answer your calls because of you."

"_What do you mean by that, Sesshoumaru?"_

"The question should not be about what I mean. It should be about why you wish to hurt the miko."

"_Damn it, Sesshoumaru! I ain't got time for your riddles. Have you talked or seen Kagome?"_

"Perhaps. Why do you wish to know?"

"_Because I can't get in touch with her ever since yesterday."_

"And there is reason as to why she has not spoken with you. Why do you question of her? Should you really be concerned with her since you are the one that suffers her?"

"_What the hell are you talking about?! Just tell me where she is and maybe I'll decide to not hack something off you for leaving me here in England with these dumb jackasses!"_

"Should I? I have no reason to meddle in the affairs of one who scorns the one person that loves him. Should anyone be accused of the miko's mishap, shall it be you, little brother, the one that she held closest to her?"

"_What are you talking about? You're not making any sense!"_

"Am I? This Sesshoumaru has nothing more to say to you, little brother."

"_Sesshouma-" The line was cut off as Sesshoumaru ended the call and turned off his cell phone._

**Aoikone: blue kitten (aoi-blue, koneko-kitten)**

**Mangetsu: full moon**

**End of chapter three. Now to go rummage through my refrigerator to find food while I play _.hackQUARANTINE_. Ja!**

**BA326's Final Thoughts:**

Why would a person love to have a boyfriend named Savage? Is there like some hidden meaning behind this claim, because I am just confused. And the friend that said this, you know who you are! And Savage, if you are reading this, do not look at me weird because of my friend's perverted thoughts in which she won't tell me why. All that I know is that she thinks Savage would be a cool name for a boyfriend to have so that she could show him off to everybody. She has weird and wrong desires/fantasies that I don't think I want to know what they are.


	4. Chapter 4 Truth

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of Forgiving Loss. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

Chapter 4 Truth

"Okay, tell me how this goes again, Rin."

"Easy. All you do is hold up the bow and pull the arrow back. Then you aim and fire."

"Well, can you show me how I'm supposed to do this again?"

"I've never actually shot an arrow before. Have you Sango?"

"I'm more of a boomerang and katana person. What about you Ayame?"

"Let me see. It can't be too hard. Besides, I've seen Kagome do it a million times." Ayame took the weapon and did as Rin had told Kagome. "So I'm aiming for Shippou, right?"

"Yeah. Shippou, hold still, alright?"

"But why do I have to be the target? Why can't Miroku be it? He deserves it more than anyone." He looked over at the monk. Miroku held his heart, a somewhat pained expression on his face.

"Because he's human and you're fast enough if someone actually shoots an arrow directly at you. Now, hold still. Don't move unless the arrow is actually gonna hit you."

Cold sweat started running down Shippou's face and neck. He prayed to all Kami that the arrow wouldn't hit him.

Ayame aimed at Shippou and let fly the arrow. It only went a foot.

"Dang it! Let me try again." She tried again but the arrow still went nowhere. She tried one more time and failed. "I think there's something wrong with this bow. Or maybe it's the arrows."

"No, you just don't know how to shoot arrows either."

"Alright, then, why don't you try since you know so much, Rin."

"Why not. I can't be worse than you." Rin took the bow and drew an arrow from the quiver. She aimed at Shippou and released the arrow. Somehow, the arrow didn't go straight forward. In fact, it didn't even go anywhere near Shippou. Everyone watched as the arrow flew upwards in the air, stopped, and plummeted down towards Rin's head, arrowhead first. Rin ran from her spot as the arrow embedded itself in the ground.

"Wow, nice, Rin. Really, that was further than where mine landed. Seriously, I mean it landed in the exact same spot from where it was shot. No, really, you didn't do worse than me."

"Shut it, Ayame. At least mine went a further distance, even if it came back." Rin took up another arrow and aimed once more at Shippou. She let loose the arrow and, amazingly, it headed towards Shippou. Shippou suddenly ducked down to the ground and held fast to his head. Lucky for the kitsune, the arrow soared over past where his head had been half a second ago. "You were saying?"

"I hate you, you know that right?"

Rin smiled.

"Hey, guys, we need to get a new target. I think Shippou's out of it," Kirara pointed out as she kneeled over Shippou's unconscious form.

"Oh, is he okay?" Kagome asked as she too leaned over the poor kitsune.

"Yeah, he just passed out from fright."

"Mm-hm, we'll just have to use the trees instead. I don't think Shippou will trust us again if we try to get him to do it. And as much as we all would like to, Miroku can't be the target. The agency will still need him, even if no one really misses him. But first, we'll need something to mark the tree so that we can tell if Kagome actually hits the target and not some other tree. I know, we can use some rope to tie around the tree. I'll be back in a sec." Rin ran off back to the house.

"So, Kagome, do you remember anything yet?" Sango asked.

"No, not on my own. Rin's been telling me stuff about my life for the past few days, but I've not recovered anything without someone reminding me about it. I feel so helpless, and you guys have been so kind to help. I don't know how I can repay you."

"Don't worry about it. We're all past due for returning all the favors that you've done for us. This is just how we can help with repaying our debts here. Besides, what kind of friends would we be if we didn't help one of our best friends when she needs us the most?"

Kagome nodded. "I guess, but still... I feel so helpless... I can't remember anything, and, yet, I have this feeling that I don't want to remember. It's strange, but I know deep in me that I want to remember because if I don't then I just won't be me." Kagome looked up at her friends' sympathetic faces.

"We know you want to remember, as much as we want you to, if not more. Just give it some time, and you'll recover yourself. These things take time so be patient. We all know that remembering yourself is important but you must wait."

She nodded again at Miroku's words. "Yeah, I know, but still... You all tell me I'm this great person that everybody loves, but that makes me feel that I'm just being a burden since I can't remember how to be someone that you all describe, how to be myself. Don't mind me. I'm just babbling on about nonsense."

"Don't feel that way. We all have our problems but we figure how to overcome them, just like you have and will. All we have to do, as Miroku said, is just give it some time as we help you. You'll remember eventually. We just know it. We _believe_ it, so you have to too, alright?" Kirara said.

Kagome brightened up. "Yeah, you're right. I just have to believe in myself so I can do what I've always done, to be myself. Thanks you guys."

"No problem!" Ayame said as she gave Kagome the bow and quiver. "Now, let's get started on your archery practice. We can't let our best archer be stuck as an amateur. I think I hear Rin coming."

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Inuyasha drove up to his house in his red Ferrari and didn't even bother to park the car as he jumped out and bursted through the front door. "Kagome!" he called. No answer. He searched for her scent. _'What the-? She hasn't been here for a while. So why is the door unlocked?'_

_'Forget the door! Where the hell is my mate?!' his youkai screamed at him._

Inuyasha sniffed out the area, but Kagome's scent had disappeared when it rained.

"Damn it! Where the hell is she?!" Inuyasha stopped long enough to park the car and take the keys out. He stepped inside the house and looked around for any signs of what happened with her. Not much had changed, except that the place had been cleaned. After finding no evidence of Kagome doing anything else but cleaning the last time she was there, he returned to the living room. That's when he noticed the cordless phone on the floor in front of the couch.

He picked up the phone and sniffed it. _'Kagome was here a few days ago and hasn't been back since. What is going on?!'_ Inuyasha looked up and saw that the answer machine was blinking. _'Maybe she called and left a message.'_

Inuyasha started checking his messages, and there turned out to be twenty messages. About fifteen of the messages were from him when he was trying to reach Kagome, two from Kagome's family, and another two from telemarketers. Inuyasha was about to walk away when all of a sudden he heard Rin's voice.

_"Inuyasha. I need you to come to my house as soon as you get this message. There's something we have to talk about... about Kagome. It's important."_

_'Important? If it's about Kagome, then she better know where the hell she is!'_

Inuyasha had rushed so fast out of the house that he seemingly had forgotten to notice the bitterness in Rin's voice. He jumped into his Ferrari and drove off to Sesshoumaru's mansion on the outskirts of Tokyo. When he arrived, he noticed that everyone else's cars were there already. _'Why's everyone here?'_

Inuyasha ran up to the door and banged on it before crashing open the door. "Sesshoumaru! Where the hell are you bastard?! I got a bone to pick with you!"

"Baka. Have you no more sense to just knock and not break open my door? It's deplorable how you are part inu-taiyoukai and have no brains to simply knock."

"Shut up, Sesshoumaru. Rin left a message saying she wanted to talk about Kagome, so tell me where Kagome is because I know you _do_ know where she is."

"Calm yourself. Your precious miko is here, though I doubt she'll be good enough for you to be in your presence."

"What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"You should know, little brother, or did you forget what you told her over the phone already?"

"What the-"

"Dog-shit! Come here so I can kick your ass!"

"What the hell do you want, Kouga? And why _are _you here?!"

"To kill you for making Kagome like this! You'll so pay!"

"Kagome? For making her like what?!"

"Inuyasha! Do you not care for Kagome?" Miroku said as he too stepped into the room.

"What's that s'posed to mean, monk?"

"How could you, Inuyasha?! You're such a baka!" Shippou said as he also stepped in after Miroku.

"Could someone tell me what the hell is going on here?! Did I like do something I wasn't supposed to?! And what does that have anything to do with Kagome?!!"

"Did someone call me?" came a voice from the doorway to the social room. She looked at Inuyasha as if trying to remember something. "Hello. Do I know you?" she asked.

Inuyasha was frozen to the spot. _'Wha- What's going on here? Why is she looking at me like she's never seen me before?'_

Rin came up behind her and saw Inuyasha. She took Kagome's arm and tugged a little. "Come on, Kagome. The girls are waiting."

"Okay." She turned back to the guys and bowed. "Excuse us," and the two left.

Inuyasha moved to go after Kagome. "Kagome..." but Kouga and Miroku stepped in his way. "What's going here? Why are you guys all of a sudden against me and why's Kagome here, acting like that?"

"Answer this, Inuyasha, before we answer your questions. Why did you say that to her?" Miroku said calmly.

"Say what? To Kagome?"

"Do not play dumber than what you are, little brother. You know good and well what we speak of."

"No, I don't. Spit it out, or don't say anything at all. Either way I couldn't care less except why Kagome acts like she doesn't know me."

"She doesn't," Miroku answered.

"What?! What do you mean she doesn't know me?!"

"Oi, shit for brains. She lost her memory because of you and I have the right to wanna tear you to shreds."

"What the- She did what?!"

"She lost her memory, baka! She was hit by a car because you blinded her with your careless words. I can't believe you would hurt Kagome like that, baka! I hate you!"

"Y'all keep saying that I say something to her and it's really pissing me off 'cause y'all ain't telling me what I did."

"Are you really that thick-headed, Inuyasha?" Miroku asked. "Do you not remember what you blatantly stated?"

"Look, I haven't talked to Kagome since last week, and even then I just mysteriously got disconnected from her. I tried to call back but no one answered. Now tell how Kagome lost her memory."

"Baka. She was hit by a car. She became so grieve stricken that she did not see the car coming."

"What?!!" Inuyasha ran up to Sesshoumaru and grabbed him by the collar. "You better explain before I decide to hack something off," he growled.

"Release me, or you shall lose more than just your miko's memory." Inuyasha complied.

"This is all your fault, bastard! If you had waited till I got on the plane, then none of this would've happened!"

"My fault? I think not for it is yours to be accounted for. Were you not the one that told her you wanted a divorce?"

"FUCK!!!" Inuyasha pulled out Tetsusaiga from its hilt. "Tell me where you got this bullshit from before I decide to leave Rin pieces of her mate!!"

"Put away your pathetic, tainted sword. This _bullshit_ came from none other than that miko of yours."

"What?!"

"Was it not you that called Kagome to tell her that you wanted a divorce?" Miroku asked as he tried to read his actions.

"Fucking no! I called her but then the line got screwed. I didn't say anything close to what you people are talking about!"

"Really? If that is true, then why does Rin claim that that is exactly what Kagome said to her before the accident?"

"I don't know. I ain't the one that decided to let Sesshoumaru leave me in the UK. If you hadn't left without me, then none of this would have happened."

"I did not decide to leave you. _You_ are the one that called me saying that you volunteered to stay to help the President, not I."

"What?! I never called saying I wanted to stay for that jackass! What the hell are you playing here, 'cause I ain't liking the rules!"

"Oh, really. If This Sesshoumaru is not mistaken, _you _called me with _your_ cell phone saying to leave you. This Sesshoumaru is not mistaken for I heard your voice on the other side of the phone."

"Fucking shit! Are you trying to say that _I _called with _my_ cell phone to tell _you_ to leave _me_ in that damned country?!"

"Duh, dog-turd! Or did you not get the message?"

"Shut it, ass. I'm itchin' for a fight, and I ain't hesitating to just cut up some wolf meat to feed to the roaches."

"So, are you saying that you never told Sesshoumaru to leave you and never mentioned anything to Kagome about a divorce?" Shippou asked.

"Why don't y'all believe me?!! Some damned bastard must've somehow been able to mock my voice or had a voice device to sound like me to call you and talk to Kagome. Why didn't you people call me to tell me this?!"

"Because we were not sure if we could really trust in you anymore. Not after what we were told. We're sorry that we did not believe you. We were simply uncertain," Miroku apologized.

"Whatever. So with Kagome, how bad is it?"

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"So, who was that, Rin?"

"You'll find out in a few minutes. But first, we must get finished with your practice for today. Now, let's hurry!" Rin took off in a sprint.

"Hey, wait up!" Kagome tried to catch up and arrived right after Rin had told everybody something.

"I see. We'll just have to wait till later to deal with him later," Kagome heard Sango say.

"Deal with who?" she asked.

Everyone looked at her. "Oh, no one. Now let's get back to practice," Kirara said, waving off Kagome's inquiry.

"Okay, well, is everything set up with the tree?"

"Yep! Your target is marked over there." Ayame pointed over to the tree with a rope tied around its base, happy to change the subject. "Here're your arrows! Now let's begin!"

Kagome took the bow and arrows and began aiming at her target. "Well here goes…" She released the arrow, hoping that it didn't fly too much off course. But as far as amateurs go, Kagome needed _a lot_ of help. The arrow managed to fly in the direction of the tree, just that it went over it, without hitting the leaves. "Well that sucked."

Rin gave Kagome a comforting pat on the back. "Don't worry. You did better than Ayame. At least yours actually went somewhere and not just the ground right in front of your feet," Rin teased.

Ayame started pouting. "It's not my fault the damn bow's screwed. Besides, she's had a lot more experience than I've had."

"But she doesn't know how to shoot an arrow either because she doesn't remember, so that means you two are basically at the same level."

"Am not. She's going by instinct. I went by absolutely nothing except with the knowledge of remembering how she shot arrows."

"Can you two stop bickering for a while? We've gotta continue Kagome's training before it gets too late in the evening," Sango said as she stepped in. When she saw the two calm, Sango motioned for her to continue.

_'Please hit the mark, please hit the mark…' Kagome kept chanting in her head and she closed her eyes, imagining hitting the tree, before releasing the arrow. Less than a second's tick, she heard someone yelling. She snapped them open and turned around seeing Shippou ducking for cover as she saw the arrow land right next to his feet. "Oh, sorry, Shippou! I didn't mean to aim at you."_

"Kagome, your arrows are more dangerous when you don't know how to handle a bow!" Shippou yelled as he tried to recover from the scare.

"Are you okay, Shippou?! I swear, I wasn't trying to hit you."

"You girls are out to get me, aren't you?! First, you use me as a target and almost shoot my head off, and now you're sending arrows at me when all I'm trying to do is wanting to tell you something the other guys said!"

"We don't mean anything by it, Shippou. We all are just trying to help Kagome, not kill you off."

"Whatever," he said as he kicked some dirt to vent some frustration. "Anyway, the guys want to see y'all."

"Did they figure anything out yet?"

"Yeah, seems like it. They'll explain when you get back to the mansion. Look, I gotta go before you decide you wanna set me on fire or freeze me or whatever. See ya!" Shippou transformed into a bird and flew away.

Rin untied the rope from around the tree and the others helped Kagome gather the arrows up before heading back to the mansion.

When they arrived, they found the guys still in the social room. Kagome walked in after the other girls, and Inuyasha stood up when he saw Kagome.

"Oh, hello again. I see you're still here." Kagome bowed slightly before taking a seat next to Sango and Rin. "So, what's going on here?"

Inuyasha sat down as Miroku began explaining the situation.

"You mean, Inuyasha wasn't the one who said-"

"No, he's not," Sesshoumaru said cutting off Rin. He gave Rin a cautious look and Rin understood the meaning.

"As I was saying, it appears that someone wanted to cause Kagome harm and did it through using Inuyasha's voice. Kagome cannot know of what happened on the phone because she does not remember. Only she and the other person know what was actually said on the phone, but now, we don't even know exactly because the only other person is the one that disguised his or her voice to be Inuyasha. Kagome became confused and ran from the house crying. Rin found her in the park crying and then the accident happened. Am I correct?"

Everyone except Kagome and Inuyasha nodded. Kagome looked over at Inuyasha, trying to see if she could remember him but it was to no avail. She noticed that he was staring at her intently. She saw in his eyes different emotions swirling in his golden-amber eyes. She offered him a small smile and turned back to the others.

"So Inuyasha is not responsible for what happened to Kagome?" Kirara asked.

"No, but if he was I'd pummel him to nothing and then get Sesshoumaru to bring him back so I could do it all over again." Inuyasha started growling at Kouga but said nothing. Kouga just smirked. Kagome looked at the two and became confused.

"Kagome, are you sure you don't remember anything from the day before you woke up?" Sango asked.

She shook her head. "Sorry, no. I remember small things, but they're all kinda blurry and foggy. I'm sorry I'm not much help with this. Are you all sure that I'm not a burden? I mean, I feel helpless in this whole situation that's really mostly about me. I want to help as much as I can, but my memory loss doesn't permit me to do too much."

Rin placed a hand on Kagome's shoulder. "We told you, don't worry about it. We all know that you're trying your best and that's enough. Don't stress yourself over it too much. Everything will be fine eventually, but for now, just let things come back and don't try too hard. I'm sure Inuyasha here will take good care of you, right?"

Inuyasha nodded.

Kagome's eyes widened in surprise. "You're Inuyasha? Oh, wow, I didn't know that you were him, not from all the things that I've heard about-"

"Yep, that's Inuyasha! We forgot to tell you, didn't we? Well, sorry about that. Kagome, this is Inuyasha!" Sango said nervously, cutting Kagome off. She sneaked a glance at Inuyasha, hoping he didn't catch what Kagome almost said.

"What do you mean _'all the things you've heard about me_'?" he said, anger rising in him as he looked at Sango, Rin, Kirara, and Ayame suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing, Inuyasha. We were just saying that you were very exertive and expressive with your words and like to be a little nice at times and..."

"But that's not what you said. You said that he was a very pompous jerk at times and always gets in over his head and is very impatient and is a half-wit sometimes and never listens to anyone unless it's me and doesn't know what the meaning of manners is and..."

"Okay, I think you've said enough, Kagome. Well, look at the time. I think Kouga I have to go meet someone, right Kouga?" Ayame said, trying to get away before Inuyasha exploded.

"Don't know what you're talking about, but I sure as hell know that you girls are in an assload of trouble."

Ayame ran over to Kouga and grabbed his hand. "Yes, you do, now let's go before we're late. See ya guys!" Ayame dragged Kouga away to the door. Kirara stood up as well.

"Yeah, me too. I think I better go check on Shippou since we kinda scared the wits out of him. Bye you guys! Kirara transformed into her neko youkai form and flew out the door.

"I might as well go home too. Kohaku may be kinda worried since I haven't called him all day to tell him where I've been." Sango started walking to the door. "Keep your distance, houshi-sama."

Miroku sighed, seeing as sneaking out with her without her notice would fail. "But you misunderstand, Sango. I only hope to apologize to you and walk you home."

"You can do that by going away."

"But Sango, dear..." The conversation faded away out the door.

Kagome stood too. "I think I'll go pack my things."

"Don't bother, wench. I already got them."

"Oh, well, I guess I'll see you two later." She tilted her head to the two.

"Hurry it up, wench. I ain't got all day to wait for you."

Kagome nodded and waved back at Rin and Sesshoumaru. As Inuyasha drove off, Rin turned to Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru, do you know if this is a good idea? I mean, what if Inuyasha was really lying. How do we know we can trust Kagome being safe with him?"

"Inuyasha lies not about this. He is a baka, no doubt, but he does have somewhat sense to not hurt his miko, this Sesshoumaru is sure of that."

"But why would someone want to hurt Kagome? She hasn't done anything to deserve this. And who would do such a thing?"

"That is one thing this Sesshoumaru does not know. The miko has made many enemies to those of the opposing side as my little brother has. Maybe the person was trying to weaken Inuyasha, but I cannot be sure of it."

"Weaken Inuyasha? Through Kagome? How?"

"Making one vulnerable would make the other vulnerable as well. It's the custom of the mates. When one mate is weakened, so is the other. The attack was made for Inuyasha, through his miko. One cannot be sure until the true plot is revealed. Until then, only my brother can help himself and his miko."

**This chapter was supposed to posted up last week, but I didn't finish it until Saturday, but I'm trying to post two chapters of all my stories at one time before Christmas break since I won't be able to update until after New Years'. But by then, you shall probably get about three chapters of each story since it'll be two weeks away from school. So, I'll try to get the next chapter up by Thursday at the latest. If not, then you'll probably get four chapters after Xmas. Sayounara, bye bye!**

**BA326's Final Thoughts:**

I wonder why adultswim likes to do the mustache thing on April Fool's day. I found a picture of Inuyasha with bifocals on and a mustache and goatee on his face. Very hilarious. I named it "Mustachey Inu". It's my avatar currently on livejournal(dot)com. Check it out, or just look on yahoo and type in Inuyasha on _Images_. It should be on the first page. I wonder why they decided to screw up Fluffy-sama on the first movie. Very flicked-ed, but he was still cute, a little. I _MUCH_ prefer him on the anime. Very hot! All hail the almighty god of sex, Sesshoumaru-sama! JK, but he's still _HOT_! LoL!


	5. Chapter 5 Tough Start

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of **Forgiving Loss**. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

Chapter 5 Tough Start

The ride to the house was quiet as Kagome only stared out the window while Inuyasha just felt like tearing something apart to vent his anger. As soon as they arrived at the house, Inuyasha parked the car and pulled Kagome's stuff over his shoulder. He walked up to the house and unlocked the door before throwing her bag by the stairs.

Kagome started walking around, exploring the house since she stayed at Sesshoumaru's the entire time, even when Rin went to grab her some clothes and extra things. Inuyasha went upstairs and into his room. He opened the door to the balcony and walked to the side and sat on the railing against the wall.

'_Why the hell would someone want to hurt Kagome like this? And why would they want to use her as a way to get to me? It doesn't make sense. Why did Kagome think that I would do something like that, most of all to her? I knew I should have never left her alone for two weeks, especially since I knew that there were others that would want to hurt her because of me. Because of my stupid mistake, I left her vulnerable and unprotected. Now she's lost our pup and her memory. I could've lost _her _if it wasn't for Rin. If only I hadn't accepted the job, or if I had just took her along anyway, then none of this would have happened. I'm such an idiot. Kagome…"_

Inuyasha looked up at the twilight sky as the sun was nearly below the horizon. So many times he had sat out here to clear his head whenever he and Kagome got into a fight and she ended up hurt. This was the one place in which he could think through things, figure out a way to fix what he had done. However, this time, things seemed irreversible. Inuyasha had been lucky that Kagome had only lost her memory and baby. What would he have done if he had lost her too?

Kagome's lost baby and her memories… They were things that could be recovered. All he and Kagome had to do was just start over, from the very beginning. But could he really do it all over again?

Inuyasha had been lucky to have found Kagome in college. His life never had any real happiness in it, not since his mother died when he was five. Even then, he couldn't remember much about her except how much she loved him. After her death, his life became a torture to him, that is, until he went to college and met Kagome.

Having Kagome as his very first, true friend was a rare thing, a blessing. He had made friends with a girl named Kikyou as he grew up, but even she had to leave him for circumstances out of their control. However, Kagome… she never left him, not since she first met him. A gentle and kind creature, Kagome had healed the wounds he endured from his dreadful childhood. She always stayed by his side. Even if it only seemed like a too real fantasy, he allowed Kagome to slowly mend his heart, his soul, his everything. And in return, he promised to look after her.

But now, that promise seemed all too distant as he remembered Kagome's condition. He couldn't protect her last time, but maybe this time he could keep her safe by keeping her away. He was the main reason for her mishap and he couldn't bring himself to let her get hurt again because of him. He had to let her go or she'd get hurt again because of him. To let go of her though, could he really do that? After all, wasn't she the one that healed him when he really thought there was nothing left?

He couldn't just leave her like that. Not when she really needed him the most. Starting over wouldn't be so hard, right? Not if he'd already managed to do it the first time.

"Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Kagome's voice. He had been so deep in his thinking that he hadn't even noticed when Kagome came outside. "What is it?"

"Why are you out here? It's dark out here and it'll get pretty cold soon. Don't you want to come inside?"

He turned away to look at the waxing moon. "Keh! I ain't as weak as you pathetic humans. I'm fine."

"Oh, okay." Kagome nodded and walked over to the concrete rail. She looked at the city lights from midtown Tokyo as they began to light up the darkness. "What are you doing out here?"

"Nothing. Just… thinking…"

"Oh. You're thinking about how things ended up like this, huh?"

"Little."

"I'm sorry I can't be much help to you guys. The others have been stopping by all week while I was at Rin's. They've helped me recover a little bit, but I still know nothing about myself or my life. They keep telling me about what I was like, but I don't know how to be the person they described." Kagome laughed dryly to herself a little. "Sounds kinda silly. I don't know how to be myself."

Kagome looked back at Inuyasha and smiled a little. Her eyes were bright, glistening with a small glimmer hope. Inuyasha saw the sparkle of herself willing him to help her. Inuyasha parted his lips to say something but shook his head slightly as he leaned back against the wall, watching the night sky.

She walked to opened the door. "I think I'll go back inside. Good night."

She didn't wait for his acknowledgement as she closed the door behind herself.

'_Maybe, Kagome… maybe we can…'_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Hi, Kagome! We wanted to come over to see how you were doing."

"Hi, guys. I'm fine, but you don't have to come and check up on me _every_ day. I'm not alone, you know."

"Sorry!" Rin said as she placed a hand on the back of her head. "We can't help it, you know."

"Don't worry, it's okay. Just a little… weird. Come in."

Rin, Sango, Shippou, and Kirara came in. "I haven't seen you since Monday. How have you been feeling lately? Has everything been okay with Inuyasha and all?" Kirara asked.

"I'm okay, but my memory hasn't recovered anymore since I last talked to y'all yesterday. Inuyasha hasn't said too much since we came here Monday, but he's been nice, I guess."

"Do you girls not trust Kagome with me, or do you do all this just to spite me? Last time I checked, I didn't bite and I don't have rabies."

Everyone looked back at Inuyasha, who was standing near the staircase casually.

"No, Inuyasha. We're just concerned is all. We trust you and we're not trying to spite you. We only want to make sure Kagome is okay."

"Well then you can just call instead of always stopping by. Know what, scratch that. You keep calling even if you just came by. The phone rings every five fucking minutes and it's always one of you. And then you tell me that you wanna talk to Kagome to make sure everything is fine even when I tell you basically the same thing." Suddenly, the phone started ringing and Inuyasha looked like he was ready to blow a casket. "That proves my point. I bet it's that dumbass wolf, or maybe it's that damn lecher of yours Sango."

Inuyasha stalked over to the phone and picked up the receiver. "Who the hell is this?"

"_Inuyasha, it's Ayame. Are the others over there yet?"_

"Yeah, why? You calling to say that Kagome's living with a worthless dog too? I told y'all she's fine now stop calling!" Inuyasha slammed the phone down before Ayame could respond.

"Inuyasha! That wasn't very nice! Who was it?"

"Another damn pest that's adding on to my nerves."

"I see Inuyasha is the same as always. Guess nothing ever changes that attitude of his. You would think he'd be a little nicer since he's gotta take care of Kagome so she can recover." Shippou sighed as he shook his head.

"Yep, some thing's never change no matter how you look at it. Inuyasha will always be a baka, won't he?"

"You got that right," Sango agreed.

"You got something to say, then say in front of me, not when I'm not looking."

The phone started ringing again, and Inuyasha grabbed for it. Kagome jumped in the way first.

"Hello? Zenya residence."

"_Kagome! Are you all right?"_

"Yes, I'm fine. May I ask who is speaking?"

"_Oh, dear. It's your mother, Kagome. Can I speak with Inuyasha for a moment?"_

"Sure." Kagome handed Inuyasha the phone.

"Who is it?"

"She says she's my mother."

Inuyasha's face paled slightly as he took the phone. "Ms. Higurashi?"

"_Hello, Inuyasha. I heard about what happened and came straight back home. How's Kagome? Please tell me what happened."_

"It's a long story. Would you rather for us to come there and talk about it?"

"_No, that will be alright. I'll come over there this evening. Is it serious?"_

"The doctors say that she has a severe case of amnesia and she also lost the pup."

"_Oh my. Did you have any plans for this evening?"_

"No, not really."

"_Okay, well I'll be there within the next hour. I'm bringing father as well. Have you talked to Souta?"_

"Yes, we called as soon as I got back from Britain. He said he'd come as soon as everything settles down in Kyoto."

"_Well, okay. I'll be there in a little bit."_

Inuyasha placed the receiver down and saw everyone looking at him.

"What happened, Inuyasha?" Sango asked.

"That was Kagome's mom. She called to ask what happened and said she was coming over in a little while. She wants to discus what happened with Kagome."

"Well, since Kagome's mother is coming over, then maybe we should leave. We'll talked to you later." Sango got up along with Kirara and Shippou.

"Do you mind if I stay, since I was there when everything happened?" Rin asked.

"We don't mind. Are you sure you wouldn't mind since you know more than the two of us?"

"No, not at all."

"Okay, well, see you guys later," Kirara said and left with the other two.

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The hour passed by quickly as Kagome and Rin chatted in the living room while Inuyasha stood by the kitchen, arms folded as he began pondering again. Finally, a knock came to the door and Inuyasha answered it.

A woman who looked to be in her mid to late 40s walked in and greeted everyone. "Hello, Inuyasha. It's nice to see you again, Rin. My dear child, Kagome. You gave me such a scare when I heard about the accident." She walked over to Kagome and gave her a big hug.

"H-Hi. I'm sorry that I worried you." Kagome gave her mother a small hug back.

"Oh, dear, you don't remember me at all, do you?"

"No, sorry. I feel kinda awkward. I've known my mother for my whole life, and yet it's as if I'm just meeting you for the first time."

"It's okay, honey. There's nothing that you could do about this except try and hope to pull though this. Shall we sit and talk about what happened then?"

Everyone nodded. The ladies sat in the living room while Inuyasha leaned against a wall across from where Mrs. Higurashi and Kagome sat. Inuyasha started explaining what happened and Rin filled in the blanks as he went along. Mrs. Higurashi understood most of the situation.

"So, someone decided to deceive Kagome into thinking that Inuyasha wanted to divorce her? But why would anyone want to do that?" she asked as she watched her daughter sleeping, her head resting in her mother's lap. Kagome had drifted to sleep during the beginning of the explanation. Probably because she woke up pretty early to clean the house before going to the doctors for another checkup.

"We're guessing it's because someone was trying to either tear apart Kagome and Inuyasha or to cause harm to Inuyasha through Kagome. This was just a starting point."

"So this is somewhat of a warning? Why would someone want to harm Inuyasha and Kagome?"

"I don't really know. I've gained a lot of enemies for the past two years, ever since I joined _Seikyo no Tenshi_. I wouldn't be surprised if it's someone that despises the agency."

"Still, why would it be especially you and Kagome? I see no real reason why someone would threaten your lives when you only do your jobs. I wish you didn't have to go through all of this."

"There's nothing you can do about it. This is the price to pay when everyone hates the half-breeds. All I can say is that I will find that bastard and make him pay for what he's done to Kagome. She doesn't deserve this, and I won't allow her to suffer because of me."

Mrs. Higurashi nodded. "Maybe it'd be a good idea for you and Kagome to stay at the shrine for a while. At least until you can get a lead of some sort to help figure out what exactly is going on. You two are still off work, right?"

"Yeah, I have about another month and Kagome has a few months until she is normal enough to be able to work again."

"Okay, well, then you can stay at the shrine for as long as needed. When you go back to work, we'll be with her so she won't be alone. You'll be in safe hands."

"Keh. I didn't plan on leaving Kagome alone. She said that she'd try to go back to the office when I do so she'll be around more people that know her."

"Well, still, I would like for Kagome to stay at least a while. I don't like the thought of you two being here alone. It's best if you stay with us."

"Whatever."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Higurashi. Kagome's in safe hands as long as Inuyasha's here and the others and I will make sure of that."

"Did I fall asleep?" Kagome said as she sat up rubbing her eye.

"You're awake, dear. Kagome, we were planning on having you and Inuyasha stay with us at the shrine. Will that be fine?"

Kagome nodded. "That'd be alright. Is it okay, Inuyasha?"

"I don't care."

"Well, I guess it's decided. It's pretty late, so I'll let you rest for the night."

"Yeah, I think it's time for me to hit the bed. I got work early in the morning," Rin said as she gave Kagome a hug. "Call us if you need anything, alright?"

"Mm-hm. We will. Bye, mama. Bye, Rin." Inuyasha walked them to the door and closed it after they left.

"Inuyasha?"

"Go to bed, wench. You're tired."

"Okay…can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"How long have you known me?"

"Since college. Why?"

"I was wondering… since we're married and all, and since you've known me for that long, how come you never tell me anything?"

"Tell you what?"

"About us, or something about what's happened in the past few years."

"Don't the others tell you enough in one day as it is? Rushing, trying to cram everything in in one day ain't gonna bring you're memory back that fast."

"But you never talked much in the last week."

"There was nothing much to say. Shouldn't you worry about yourself and not so much about me? You're the one who needs to be reminded of everything. Not me."

"I am, but I'm also curious about you. I don't know much about you, and that makes me feel kinda out of place since I don't know much about someone that I cared for. Would you?"

Inuyasha hesitated for a moment. "It don't matter. Go to bed. You've got another appointment before we go to your mom's."

" 'Kay. Good night." Kagome got up and walked upstairs.

She was barely in her room when he heard her sigh.

'_Baka! Why are you being so cold to her. She hasn't done anything to you and you should be helping her. So stop acting so mad at her.'_

'_I can't help it. She's been hurt enough as it is. If someone really wants to hurt her because of me, then I've gotta protect her. And if it means that I gotta remain detached from her, then so be it.'_

'_But still…'_

'_There's nothing more to it. I'm protecting her, so leave it alone.'_

**Sorry, kinda not the way I wanted it but I'm probably gonna be killed for being up so late typing, so… I meant to update this yesterday, but it wasn't finished yet, and that afternoon, I was baking cookies. Now my house smells like Oatmeal Raisin cookies. Besides that, I have to finish revising Say Goodbye and this original fiction/fantasy on fictionpress. That and give 2 more chapters for this and Engaging Enemies and 3 for Say Goodbye and Adept Storm (the original fiction thing). I hope to do all of that before the 13th.**

**I am sorry, but I probably won't be able to update as much after the 13th because I finish Engineering class on that day and switch to new classes that Friday. I probably won't be able to update in he media center at school because they don't allow us to do that at school, but I do that anyway, and my Engineering teacher sees it anyway but doesn't say or do anything. I'll probably go MIA unless I miraculously get internet at home, which is doubtful looking at the current circumstances. The only way I would be able to update is if I get a chance to go to the library and update from there, but it won't allow me to go to mediaminer because it's categorized as either sex or mature. They think everybody's gonna look at porn at the library. Disgusting! And the fact that I can't drive yet sucks! Either that or someone generously offers to install internet for us. Gomen ne!**

**I haven't done reviews for this story yet, so better get started.**

Ceaseless Cloudy Days: I've never read any stories about anybody leaving anybody, but I guess it'll be as original as this. Besides, I've never read a mystery genre type Inuyasha fanfic before. I've only written this because, one, it will get stuck in my head if I don't type it, and two, the 2 month deprivation of cable has been nagging at my nerves. Since I only get CBS, NBS, ABC, FOX, AND MTV2, I've been only watching investigation shows on CBS. 'Mazing how I just flip the channel and suddenly see a music video with the logo MTV2. Within these past 2 months, I've missed my major anime shows such as: new episodes of Inuyasha, FullMetal Alchemist, Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex, Rave Master, Yu Yu Hakusho, Dragonball GT, Rurouni Kenshin, Teen Titans, Gundam Seed, Wolf's Rain reruns, Witch Hunter Robin reruns, reruns of Inuyasha, etc… You get my point right? I want me cable back. Damn that damn Freddie, he was supposed to install our cable over a month ago and still hasn't contacted us! If I didn't put this story as mystery as well, then I shall change it to romance/mystery because I can.

Starrilight-Hotaru: Yes, I know that I have been crazy, esp. today since I had a _sugar _cookie, an oatmeal cookie, and chocolate icing from a chocolate cake. We all know what that spells! And for some reason I felt kinda slow with that name scramble. It took me 2 weeks to finally realize you were talking about that perv that decided to start groping my ass as well in 8th grade in Photography. Yes, I know that I am writing this on the world wide net and that everyone can see this statement of my personal life. But you know what, I friggin' don't care! Haha! (hits herself with the phone) Why did I just use a phone to hit myself when I'm not even using it? (laughs like the psycho she is)

moon shines on wolf aol (dot) com: Three different reviews. Hmm… 1. Yes, I am F-in' crazy and don't give a F about it. 2. I gave Kagome amnesia again? When did I do that? (does the Totosai scratch) I don't remember. Maybe that was before I was murdered by you and brought back to life again… Why do you like murdering me and bringing me back to life when I do something other than type? 3. Here's your update. I don't update this story as much as I would like to, but because I have Engaging Enemies to be bigger hit than this and because I have people carried over from Lost Memories to the sequel Say Goodbye, I can't do too much with this as much as I could because I'm still forming everything with this. Certain parts are already planned out, but this is a "type as you go" kinda fic.

angelica incarnate: Hey, I remember you from Lost Memories and Engaging Enemies. You're the one that said in Engaging Enemies "I always tell people that if you hate Kikyou, then you should torture her in the worst possible way" or something like that. If not, then sorry. The whole full moon/ new moon baby thing. Hmm… Hanyou on the full moon, human on the new moon, 1/4 demon/ human (depending on the mother) at the female's highest peak of her ovum cycle. Basically, the 1/4 thing is when they mate on the mother's peak of her cycle in which the fully developed egg has to be fertilized within the next 48 hours or it dies. This is the best time for a mother to get pregnant since the egg is actually developed all the way. Basically, it's the short period right before menstruation where the dead egg is discard along with the blood. Sorry if I'm grossing anybody out but that's how a female's gotta be. Oh, and thanks for keeping up with all my stories. It makes me feel so much better when I know that more people are keeping up with all my stories. I feel so special.

Your questions: _How is InuYasha going to regain Kagome's trust? _Well, really, to gain someone's trust, they must first get to know you, but since Kagome has lost her memory and can't remember anything, she basically must get to know Inuyasha, her own husband. However, Inuyasha wants to distance himself away from her until she gets her memory back or he kills the bastard(ess) that wanted to hurt Kagome. Since he is trying to do that, then it's hard for Kagome to trust him, let alone for her to love him like she did before. _Who is trying to tear them apart this time? Why? _That, my friend shall remain a mystery, even to me. _I _am not even sure who's trying to pull them apart. Like I said, this is a "type as you go along" type of story. _What are they after? _ Like any mortal (or immortal) enemies, _Seikyo no Tenshi_ has their own. Since Inuyasha is one of the most top ranked body guard/protector/demon slayer (not like Sango but you get the point) he has his own enemies that would love to get back at him. That or it could be something that he's done in the past to earn himself a nice bulls' eye right on his heart directly, both physical and emotional. Sorry, but I can't reveal anything else. And thank you for telling me that you enjoy getting author alerts with my name on them. Flattery will get you everywhere with my stories.

Kathryne Karyvah: I'm pretty sure everyone wanted to kick Inuyasha's hot ass in chapter 1, but you gotta read the rest to not want to. Tell me, what was sad in chapter one. In 2, I was close to tears myself when I was writing the angsty-ness for Kagome. Sorry, I still haven't finished reading the rest of your stories because procrastination is my 3rd middle name, along with Hyper and Psycho.

savage...heeh heeeh: That is a weird name to put up for a review. Have you still found that little note about you yet? Or have you been still been banned from the computer? You have to show me that thing for the whole Vegeta making a pepperoni pizza and singing and laughing maniacally while he does it. It must be hilarious! And you've been slacking off in French ever since Raymond started sitting next to you. And you were making progress too, but I guess you can't hope for everything, like my StarOcean game! (laughs again like a maniacal psycho lady) JK!

Addanc-TSC: Why thank you! I think you're gOOD too, but I don't even know you. Itadakimasu!

shoesr4losers: I don't think my story is _GOD_ because that'd be against my religion to think that. But thank you for the comment.

Inuyasha lover ): Oh please don't burst! I couldn't live with myself if one of my reviewer just spontaneously combusted because of my decision to revise my stories. Here, new chapter. New update. Totally 100 percent anti-spontaneous-combustion food. You eat, I mean read, and you'll be just fine, right? Right?!

**Well, I must stop wasting time and start revising the rest of my stories to hopefully update everything before I am forcefully taken out of Engineering class with the free internet. Ja ne!**

**BA326's Final Thoughts:**

I wonder how crazy someone can get when they've been deprived of cable for over 2 months? Wait, that's me! No! I can't let it end this way! I want my shows! Inuyasha! FullMetal Alchemist, Ghost in the Shell, TELETUBBIES! Okay, well maybe not the Teletubbies because that thing is the scariest shit in the world along with the Wiggles. But I want my anime back! Please, PUHLEAZE!!! I'm tired of not getting not enough sleep. I want to stay up at night, I want to laugh my guts out until my uncle tells me to be quiet or go to bed. I want to talk about what happened last night on blah blah blah. I want to say that Inuyasha is an ass and Miroku needs to get slapped to the ground and Inuyasha needs to stop being such a baka and let his feelings out for Kagome. Why me? Why must _I_ not have cable for this long?!!!


	6. Chapter 6 Diary

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of Forgiving Loss. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

Chapter 6 Diary

"Hello? Is anyone here? It's Kagome!"

"Kagome? Oh, dear child, you are home! Oh how I've missed you. Have you ailed for anything? I hope Inuyasha's been taking good care of you while we could not be here when you were in the accident. We came straight home when Rin called us."

"H-Hi, Grandpa. Um, I can't breathe. Could you please let go? You're crushing me."

"I am sorry, dear child. I'm just so happy to see you well. You had your grandfather and mother so worried!" Kagome's grandfather wailed as he tightened his grip around Kagome.

"Uh…"

"Hey, old man. She said for you to let go, or did you not here her? Hey, gramps!"

"Forgive me, Kagome. I was so terrified when I found out about the news," he said as he released Kagome and wiped the tears of joy from his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you so much."

"Please, do not apologize. You have been through a lot lately. Come and sit in the living room. Inuyasha, could you please take yours and Kagome's things up to her old room."

Grandpa walked Kagome to the living room while Inuyasha went upstairs to her room.

"Kagome, I heard that you were hit by a car and lost your memory, am I correct?"

"Well, yes. It seems that way. I don't know the full details and neither does anyone. Rin was there when I had the accident, but neither of us knows why exactly someone attacked me or anything. I hope that within the next few weeks, we'll be able to get some information on who threatened us and why they did it. Until then, all Inuyasha and I can do is hope to find out if I can regain my memory soon enough before whoever tries to come after us again. I hope we won't burden you if we stay here. I don't want my family to get caught up in it no more than what you are already in."

"Nonsense, Kagome. You are my granddaughter and we all love you, no matter what may happen because of you. Now, enough of this talk about someone coming after you. Let's talk about how you are doing. How have things been, for the past few days?"

Kagome thought for a moment. "Well, not too much interesting. I've been basically going back and forth to the hospital. Our friends have been frequently stopping by, just to chat or see if I could remember anything. I've been basically just staying home or at the hospital really."

"What about Inuyasha? Have you two been getting along well?"

"Inuyasha? I guess he's okay. He hasn't been saying much to me ever since he picked me up from Rin's house two weeks ago. I can't really say much about him though."

"Is that so? He hasn't been acting suspicious or anything at all?"

"Not that I can say. Why do you ask?"

"You still don't believe me, do you? I told y'all that I ain't doing anything to Kagome, or is it y'all just don't trust me?"

"Why, I said nothing of the sort. I was only clarifying that my granddaughter is all right. I have not been home to see her for almost a month, and I only want to know that she is in good health."

"Well then stop asking if anything happened otherwise. We've told you all we know so stop pestering her with your damn questions. She remembers no more than what we already told you we know."

Kagome placed a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. "Calm down, Inuyasha. Grandpa was just worried, is all. He didn't mean anything by it."

Inuyasha turned around and marched towards the kitchen door. "Well then tell them that I don't care. They can trust me or not, but I didn't do anything so stop asking questions 'cause they're making it sound like I'm suspicious of something!"

The door slammed behind him, abruptly ending the discussion.

"I'm sorry, Grandpa. I can't really speak for Inuyasha, but he's seemed kind of irritated and distant. I guess it's because he's still very upset over what happened to weeks ago."

"Well, I guess you can't really blame him, but he should more respect to his elders! I swear he still acts the same way ever since I first met him when you were on break from college."

"You mean he acts like this all the time?"

The old man sighed. "I'm afraid so, Kagome. You still remember nothing it seems. Well, your mother and I will make sure to take good care of you while you two stay."

Kagome bowed courteously. "Thanks, Gramps. I'll try not to be too much of a burden."

"Oh, nonsense," he chuckled. "I've gotten used to it ever since you and little Souta were born. A few weeks will not bother me, and most certainly not your mother. Please, do whatever you like until she comes home, dear child. I will be out cleaning the shrine if you need anything."

"Uh, thank you." Se bowed again as Kagome's grandfather left out the side door.

'_Well, I have nothing else to do,' Kagome thought to herself. 'I might as well go through the shrine. Maybe I can remember something…'_

_**;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p**_

'_Wow, this is a big tree. I wonder how old it is. It must be centuries…'_

"Kagome? Oh, dear, you're here."

Kagome snapped out of her reverie and saw her mother carrying groceries. "Oh, hi Mom. We arrived about fifteen minutes ago. Here, let me take those for you."

Kagome grabbed a few of the bags and helped Mrs. Higurashi put them up in the kitchen. Kagome noticed that she bought about ten boxes of ramen.

"Mom, why did you buy so many cups of ramen noodles? Isn't it a little much?"

"Actually, I don't think I bought enough. I know they'll all disappear by the middle of the week."

The side of Kagome's mouth started twitching. "Say what? How can ten boxes of five cups of ramen run out by the middle of the week?"

"Oh, you didn't know? Inuyasha just absolutely loves ramen. That's basically, what he mostly eats. I guess you hadn't noticed."

"Apparently. There wasn't any ramen at the house when I was there. Actually, I don't think he ever sat down with me and ate within this past week since I've been with him. I always cooked and by the next morning, half of it was eaten, so I assumed he ate sometime after I did."

"I see. Maybe he's just not sure how to approach you since you don't really remember him. He was somewhat shy when you first brought him here to meet us. He would always blush and avoid the subject whenever it came to you two. Give him some time. He'll come around to talk to you more."

"Okay. Say, Mom, what's up with that tree out there? The big, old one with the seals around it?"

"Hmm? Oh, you must mean Goshinboku. It's been here for centuries; at least, that's what Grandpa says. In fact, that tree is older than this whole shrine. It's part of the Higurashi heirloom. I don't know much about it except that it's enchanted with some mystical power. You would have to ask your grandfather about. He has a story for everything here." She laughed at that reminder. "Just hope that he doesn't try to tell you everything. He gets so in depth whenever someone asks about any part of the shrine. By the way, where's Inuyasha? I didn't see him when I came back from shopping."

"I don't know. He disappeared out the door a minute or two after we arrived. I think he got upset after something Grandpa said. Should I go look for him?"

"No, that's fine. I think maybe he just needs to be alone for a while. He can get pretty emotional over things your grandfather says. I'll get started with dinner now."

"Would you like for me to help?"

"No, I have everything in order for now. Why don't you go looking around some more? Maybe your old home will help with your memory."

"Okay. Call when dinner is ready, please."

_**;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p**_

'_Hmm, I wonder what I should do for now?' Kagome thought when she arrived in her room. She had already unpacked her clothes and belongings earlier before she went outside to investigate various parts of the shrine. The bed had fresh linen on it and her casual clothes were already in the closet. What else was there to do?_

She lied down on her bed and looked at the room upside down. She had been bored for the last thirty minutes. Inuyasha was nowhere in sight, and, even if he was, she still wouldn't be able to get anything out of him. Grandpa was busy sweeping up the shrine to do anything else but tell stories of the many artifacts and tales of the lands of Higurashi shrine. Mrs. Higurashi was still fixing dinner, and Kagome wanted to escape the place before the mother person ran her over. She sighed. She had absolutely nothing to do besides just sit around, and that didn't sit too well with her. She wanted to do something, but what?

Kagome spied the desk across the bed from her and saw the bookshelf. _'Maybe I'll read a book for now,'_ she thought as she sat up and strode across the room to the small study table. She looked up at the selection of books. Most of them seem to be books from her college days, such as _Psychology for the Wanting_, _Advanced Mathematics IV_, and _Nature and Its Unruly Habits_. She also spotted some books on family relations and fetal care. _'Wow, I really had some difficult books in college. I must have also made sure that I took good care of our baby before the accident. Now I feel even guiltier about what happened.' _Disappointment ran its course through her as she remembered that she was still three months pregnant when the accident happened. _'I feel so stupid and careless. How could I have been so foolish as to run into the street in front of a car, knowing that I was pregnant? Especially since I knew that I was putting mine and the baby's life in danger? How could I…?'_

Kagome balled her fists up on the desk, trying to understand how everything came to this. She opened her eyes and they were blurry with tears that warmed her cheeks and fell to the desk, darkening the wood.

"What am I doing? I shouldn't be thinking about this right now. Everybody's been trying to keep my mind off that because it's not my fault. But how can I believe that when I don't remember?"

'_Stop it, Kagome. This isn't the time. Everyone's downstairs probably. If they come up and see me like this, then they'll think something is wrong, especially Inuyasha. I gotta get my mind off this.'_

Kagome rubbed her eyes with her sleeve and looked back up. "I just need to get my mind off of things. I wonder if I have anything interesting to read…" She looked through the books again and found a book with a pink binding with no name. She took it off the shelf and examined it. The front and back of it was a pale blue with light pink lacings. It didn't have any writing on the covers either.

"There's a lock on it. I wonder where the key is…" Kagome started looking through the drawers, looking for any key that looked like it would fit. She came up empty. She studied the lock for a few moments, looking at the design. It was silver with small engravings in it, tiny designs that swirled in a flowing pattern. In tiny markings, the letters _HK_ were inscribed. She guessed that this book was made especially for her.

"Now, if I was me, where would I hide a key?" Kagome pondered the question for a few seconds before it popped in her head. She walked up to the closet door and reach over the frame, searching for the key. Near the middle of it, found a small, thin object and took it from its hiding place. "Yes, I found it!" she exclaimed, happy like a younger sister finding her older sister's diary.

She picked up the book and carefully studied the key and the lock just to make sure it was the key. She didn't want to get her hopes up too much before finding out that the key wasn't for the book. The designs were the same, so she assumed it was the right key and inserted it into the keyhole. She turned it and heard the lock click as it snapped open. Kagome was elated as she opened the book and sat on the bed. She looked through the first pages, gazing at the words that she had once written before. Seeing as there was a lot of dust in between the pages, she guessed that she must hadn't have opened it in a long time. She began to read the first entry, and, by judging from the details, it was when she was still in high school. She flipped toward the end of the book, and, on the third from the last page, it was marked "_March 23, 2007_". It was most likely two years after she graduated from college. She checked the room for any certificate, and sure enough, there were two different certificates in frames. She walked over and the read the print on both.

The first read:

"_We award on this Saturday, March 24th, 2001, this certificate of completion to Higurashi Kagome for graduating from S.T. Bensei High School_"

The second one was similar to the first.

"_Ashita no Mirai Academy of Kyoto would like to congratulate Higurashi Kagome for completing his/her courses for Psychological and Medical Curriculums and has received a full degree under Medicine. This certificate certifies Higurashi Kagome that he/she has earned a full Bachelor's Degree on this day of March 26th, 2005"_

"So I graduated with a medical degree…Guess I never went to Med School, or why else would I be working for a protectorate agency? I think I should read this," she said looking down at the book she cradled against her heart. _'Maybe'_ she thought, _'Maybe I can sort through some of the details of my life and get an idea on some things. I might even get my memory back sooner.'_

Suddenly, a flash of a vision appeared in her head. She was standing in a crowd, a crowd of people around her own age. Everyone was wearing robes of blue and gold, including herself. Before stood, no, _knelt_ a young man, also donned in a robe of blue and gold.

Just as fast as it appeared, the vision faded into memory. Kagome held a firm grip on the chair at the desk. _'Whoa, what was that? And, who were all those people? That place seemed familiar, but I can't remember what it looked like…'_

Kagome sat on the bed, trying to snap out of the sudden dizziness that tried to overcome her.

A knock came at the door, and Mrs. Higurashi peeked in. "Dinner is almost ready. Kagome? Are you okay? You look a little pale, dear."

Kagome tried a reassuring smile. "No, I'm okay. I just felt a little nauseous. I'll be fine in a little bit."

"Are you sure?" Her daughter nodded. "Okay. If you need anything or want to talk, I'm here."

"Okay, thanks, Mom."

Mrs. Higurashi closed the door, and Kagome stared down at the diary in her hands. _'I think…I should wait a while. It might be somewhat bad if I try to rush my memories. I'll save this for later.'_

_**;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p**_

"Ah, that feels nice…"

Kagome plopped down on the bench by Goshinboku, enjoying the late spring wind. She tilted her head back and smiled as she caught the breeze. She opened her eyes slightly and looked at the sky through the Sacred Tree's leaves as they rustled.

"It's such a nice evening. I wonder what the others are doing…" The brightness in Kagome's features faded some. She looked as if she was pondering something.

Unexpectedly, someone dropped out of Goshinboku in front of her. Surprised, Kagome yelped and lost her balance, falling backwards. Before she slipped off the concrete bench, that same person grabbed hold of her arms and pulled her upright on her feet.

When she recovered, she looked up to see golden amber eyes meeting hers, a very pissed look inscribed on Inuyasha's features. It took a good few moments for Kagome to realize she was staring before backing up, blushing, mortified at what just happened.

"What did you do that for? You scared me near death!"

Inuyasha folded her arms across his chest, glaring at the young woman who was flushed slightly and what looked like near confusion written across her features. "Keh! What the hell are you talking about? I came down to figure out why you're out here this late in the evening when you suddenly freaked out from just seeing me. You tell me what's wrong with this picture!"

"Well, you didn't have to scare me like that!"

"It's your own fault for letting your guard down like that. You know what kind of situation we're in right now, so don't blame it on me."

Kagome casted her gaze aside, embarrassed. "Sorry."

"Keh, whatever. By the way, why _are _you out here? It's almost dark."

"I came out here to think for a bit. A lot's been on my mind lately." Kagome looked up at the clouds passing over as she slowly strided past Inuyasha. "Everyone has been trying their hardest to help with my problems. Even Mom cares a lot about what's happened. I wonder if she was always like this or if she's just really worried about me because of what happened."

"Your mom's been like that ever since I met her."

Kagome looked down, over at Inuyasha. He had a deep look on his face, a very concerning expression. She smiled. "Why are you out here?"

He caught the look she gave him and drew back some.

"What's wrong?"

"Stop looking at me like that. You're creeping me out."

"What're you talking about, Inuyasha? How am I looking at you?"

"Just drop it. It was nothing."

"It's not _nothing_. I did something, so tell me what I did!"

I said drop it! I don't wanna talk about it."

"Well I do, so talk!" Inuyasha grunted and turned his head away. Kagome pulled the hair that hung from the side of his face. "Are you listening to me!"

"Fine. You gave me that look."

"What look?"

"Keh! That look that makes you look all… all… _girly_."

"But I am a girl!"

"No, you're not!"

She pulled again. "So you're saying that I'm a man!"

"Yes, I mean, no! Damn it! I meant you act like a _little_ girl."

"So what am I supposed to do? Be a total baka like you!"

"No! I meant you're not a little girl. You're a grown woman, and you should act like the way you are."

"I was acting like the way I am. What? Would you rather me act like someone I don't know? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't even know who _I_ am!"

Kagome turned around and started towards the house.

"Kagome, wait! That's not what I-"

"You're so _impossible_, Inuyasha!" she said before slamming the kitchen door shut. Before the door closed, Inuyasha could smell the salt of her tears.

**Bensei- eternity (get it, high school is forever :P)**

**Ashita no Mirai- Future of Tomorrow, Ashita- tomorrow, Mirai- future**

**Okay, I know nothing about graduating from high school and college because I'm still in the high, so bear with me on the certificates.**

**Okay, fans. I was gonna add on to this chapter but I decided that I wouldn't make you suffer any longer than I have. I've kinda been procrastinating more than usual. Gomen nasai, sumei masen! Well, I'm trying to devote more of my time to my stories since I have people probably wanting to kill me. I might've been able to update last week, but I was grounded for not listening to my aunt when she told me to wake up for church. Oh, well. Well, I'm gonna try updating Engaging Enemies because one of my friends is basically begging me to update it. Oh, and, from now on, I'm gonna try to focus on updating one story a month since switching back from 3 different stories is kinda hard and trying to find a new innovation to keep typing an original fic just won't come easy. Sorry. Well, please review so I can find that new spark to keep me from not getting adoration from my loving fans. Ja ne!**

**BA326's Final Thoughts:**

I _adore_ birthdays, especially when it's mine. It was my birthday Saturday and I got a lot of stuff, and I was finally off punishment. I got to read five different mangas: Tsubasa, RESERvoir CHROnIcLe Vol. 1 and 2; Gohou Drug; Cowboy Bebop (even though I've seen most of the anime at least fifty times), and Kodocha, Sana's Stage. I got two new watches, three balloons, 7 birthday cards, 35, a 50 check, 50 worth of Barnes&Noble Gift Cards, A DVD called Plastic Little, a diary notebook thingy, and I got to go to the movies with friends to see Guess Who. How better can life get! Well besides the fact that my cousin is now mad at me for missing the bus this morning. LoL!


	7. Chapter 7 Speak Like a Child

Chapter 7 Speak Like a Child

"Why does he have to be such an arrogant baka? I can't even figure out how I fell in love with him. He doesn't understand anything about me now, and he's so insensitive! How am I supposed to love a pig-headed jerk like him again?" Kagome said as she flopped down on her bed. She was in her pajamas with a big, fluffy towel wrapped around her hair.

It had been about an hour since her run-in with Inuyasha under Goshinboku, and she was still steamed about her mate's attitude.

Kagome placed her right arm over her eyes, hoping all of her problems would disappear into the dark abyss of the insides of her eyelids. After deciding that she already knew it wasn't going to happen, she sat up and walked over to her dresser to brush her hair. She loosed the towel, and her damp hair fell all over her face. With the towel around her shoulders, she began to brush her hair back using the blow dryer to dry it. Before she was halfway done, a thought came to her mind.

Setting the brush and dryer down, Kagome looked in the mirror. She saw a young woman that looked like she hadn't aged one day since she graduated from college, or at least from what pictures she saw. Her raven hair stopped an inch below her waist, and, if one looked close enough, small specks of molten golden blended in her hazel brown eyes. Kagome examined every detail of herself that she could, and yet she couldn't remember what her body felt like before when she was pregnant, when she had been with Inuyasha all those times, how she wielded a bow and arrow properly, how she felt and knew herself and everything around her. It was like her whole life before was a forgotten dream.

'_Why? Why can't I remember? I want to know who I am, but why can't I? What's stopping me!' Small drops splashed on the dresser._

Kagome moved from the mirror, wiping the water from her face and bangs. She looked out the window at the Sacred Tree. She saw the glinting of Inuyasha's silvery hair and looked in his direction. Kagome saw an expression on his face that made her anxious and stirred something inside of her. She knew that she saw that expression a lot before but didn't know what it meant. Inuyasha just sat there in Goshinboku, staring at her with that one look unwavering. After a few moments, Kagome moved away from the window and Inuyasha's stare. She sat on the bed, attempting to hold her racing heart inside her ribcage.

'_That look…why was he looking at me like that? It was strange, like he wanted something or was searching out for me. What made me feel that way? Nothing makes sense!' Kagome held her head in her hands. "What happened to do this to me? I want to know what happened to me. I want to know who I am…" she whispered as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked down at her bare legs past her shorts. Suddenly, she felt like maybe she didn't deserve to look at herself, that she was too disgraceful to look at, even upon her own eyes. She looked to the side at her nightstand and noticed the diary sitting there, mocking her when it knew more about her like than she did now._

Reaching for the small journal, Kagome's mind began to wonder, _'I feel like I'm invading someone's privacy, looking at this diary. But that's crazy. This is _my_ diary. I have the right to look at it. And yet, this feeling won't let up. I feel so distant to myself. It's like my mind can't understand what my heart feels, as if they're two separate being, disconnected.'_

Kagome shook her head. "I won't find out what's wrong by just sitting here, thinking about it. This may e the only way if I can't remember and Inuyasha, the one person that should know everything about me, won't tell me anything," Kagome said as she grabbed the diary from her nightstand. She searched inside her pillowcase for the key and took it out. She turned the lock, opened the book, and began reading the first entry.

_**;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p**_

'_I was acting the way I am. What? Would you rather I act like someone that I don't know? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't even know who I am! You're so impossible, Inuyasha!'_

Kagome's words kept playing through Inuyasha's head, unrelenting. Night had already fallen, and Inuyasha was sitting in Goshinboku again. Ever since Kagome went back inside upset, he had been sitting there remorsefully, wanting to take back what he said. Inuyasha felt like beating himself up, or at least knocking down a forest. He never meant to hurt Kagome or make her cry.

'_What the hell is wrong with me lately? Kagome is suffering and helpless to do something about it. And I've been so cold to her, avoiding her as much as I can without her leaving my sight. And I made her cry, just because I can't control my feelings. Why do I have to be like this?' Inuyasha closed his eyes tightly trying to block out the image of Kagome's teary face. He opened his eyes and looked up at the full moon. He felt a new calm take over him as he stared into the dull, pale orb. It gave him peace of mind of everything._

For some strange reason, the full moon always calmed him and gave him a new kind of energy. It rather rejuvenated him in a way. Inuyasha sat back and cleared his mind. He wanted to try to fix things from what they already were. He couldn't stand seeing Kagome sad, especially when it was because of him.

Inuyasha looked towards Kagome's window, hoping for some consolation, some kind of answer that would satisfy his many questions. He saw Kagome walking towards the window, water dripping from her hair. She looked ready to cry. However, Inuyasha had looked pass that. Kagome's tendrils of hair clumped together, the moistness of them making her hair gleam in the moonlight. From his view, the moon made Kagome look like an ethereal being, her miko energy surrounding her in a protective embrace. Though it lay dormant, her energy glowed around her, like a shield. Kagome may have forgotten how to control her powers, but she unconsciously caused her energy to reflect her emotions.

Her surreal appearance stirred something inside Inuyasha. The look of complete helplessness called out to him, beckoned him. The full moon also held a significance for the yearning in him. Though it was not intentional, Kagome was calling out for someone, someone that would ease her pain. Inuyasha's youkai heeded the call and wanted to help his mate as his carnal desires also came to mind.

Kagome looked in his direction, seeing his perch in the tree. He saw that she had very well seen him. Control was not something that he could muster, as his desires were obvious in his eyes. The look he gave her was of his pure youkai instincts. He saw and smelled the shift in her aura, could detail the confusion in her heart as she looked on at him. She didn't know what all of it meant, he could tell. The look in his eyes, the sudden skip of her heart, the feelings that rushed at her all at once, he could feel it as if he were apart of her, and he was.

Suddenly moving from the window, Kagome ran away from him again, he knew. Inuyasha shook his head. _'What has gotten in me, lately?'_ he asked him. _'I can't seem to control myself. Kagome… She's afraid… of me.'_

Kagome had ran, had ran from him. He felt the fear that she held of him. Her confusion had caused fear. She was afraid of what she felt for him because she didn't understand. There was a lot she did not know, and so, she became afraid.

'_Confusion brings about fear. Fear causes misunderstanding. Fear and confusion produce destruction. This is the way of humans,' an unknown voice in Inuyasha's head spoke._

"But, what does that mean?" he questioned the voice.

'_Humans destroy what they don't understand. Kagome is human. She does not understand you. You bring her pain, confusion, sorrow. She does not want to live with something that gives her these things. Therefore, she wishes to destroy you.'_

"That… That's not true! Kagome would never do that! She… She's not like that."

'_Oh? But is she not human? Is she not a miko, protector of humans, destroyer of those that threaten her people? Humans and youkai, they live among each other, and yet they despise the other. To lie with the other is a vile act upon both races, a sin within itself. You are born of that act. You are a tainted creature. Humans want nothing more but to rid the world of those that have youkai blood. You are one of them. That is what her people want, that is what they command her to do. She cannot let something causes her pain to live when she is also destined to destroy it nonetheless.'_

"Kagome's different. She wouldn't want to hurt me, let alone kill me. It's a lie."

'_All humans are the same, no matter what they seem like. In the end, she will destroy you.'_

"No, I don't believe you. She would never! Who are you? Why are you telling me all this?"

The voice in his head cleared his throat. _'I am…the Evil Ramen King!'_

Inuyasha nearly fell out of the tree. "What the fuck!"

**(StarrilightHotaru made me do it! I did not intend to do something like that name, but it was stuck in my head. I'm sorry if I ruined anyone's day. Back to the story. Gomen nasai!)**

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_March 26, 1999_

_I just finished my last week of school. It's official. I am a junior, and I am 17 today! I only have two more years before I finish. Really, I'm not as excited as I thought I would be. Right now, I should be looking for a college to go to, but I don't know what I want to do when I graduate. I don't know a career that I think I would be suitable. Truly, the best asset that I have is protecting the shrine from youkai who are after the Shikon no Tama, a sacred jewel that has been in my family for many generations. Even though I can sense youkai and supernatural beings and I have these miko powers (that's what Grandpa calls them), I don't know how to control them yet. I know how to transfer a little energy at a time into arrows, so I defend myself with that. However, how can I make a living by just staying here and protecting a jewel? I love my family here, but I want to eventually move out to have a family of my own, to a career where I can sustain myself. Maybe, maybe I'll figure it out soon._

_March 30, 1999_

_Today, Mom and I went to the library to do some research on a few colleges. Even Grandpa went with us. The librarian helped us find a few volumes of local and renowned colleges around Tokyo. I found three colleges that I've decided that I want to go when I graduate. Tokyo University of Foreign Studies, University of Tokyo, and Ashita no Mirai Academy of Kyoto. Ashita no Mirai Academy is a new school the government has just built. It has a few of the same classes as the other two, but it's very different. Grandpa picked it out. He told me that there are several classes in which controlling supernatural powers are taught. I read about it, and the catalogue said that students are taught how to hone their skills or learn how to bring about their full potential while still being in control. Such classes were for youkai hunting, the different arts of magic, youkai training (of course for those that do not intend to harm humans), psychokinesis, and even miko training for those who wish to become priestesses, such as me. Though I'm not sure if I want to become an actual priestess, I do wish to be able to use my powers more efficiently._

_Now don't get me wrong. I am thinking about going to a NORMAL college as well. TUFS caught my interest because I want to be able to see different cultures and study about them. Within the last century, Japan has actually started being more welcome to other nations and countries around it. Even though we do have our Asian traditions, Western Civilization seems a better prospect. It's had a lot of influence on our countries, as we have on theirs. Especially North America. The center, the United States, has many cultures planted within. It's almost like an amalgamated country of its own. I want to travel, go to different places, experience what it's like outside of this shrine and country. I don't want to be held down by traditions, though I do respect them. Learning about another culture may help me gain the initiative to go and explore other lands. _

_My other choice, University of Tokyo, holds another career that interests me. Health and my science classes really interest me, especially Anatomy. There's a department of Medical Sciences, dealing with these subjects, just more in depth. My reason for wanting to get into this career is to research the anatomical difference between humans and youkai. Youkai come in many forms, some are very distinguished from humans, and then some take on human forms. I want to know how this is to be. I don't mean like experimenting on some poor youkai like it's just a guinea pig. That would be way too cruel for me. I want to do this as humanely as possible. _

_It's getting late so I'd better go to bed. I promise mama that I would help her with chores tomorrow. _

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'_I get it, now. I wanted to lead a normal life while still learning about youkai and my powers, if that makes any sense,' Kagome contemplated. 'Maybe I'll be able to recover if I continue to read this…'_

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_April 2, 1999_

_Houjou's been coming around a lot lately, especially since school's been out. Even though he's really nice, I feel like I'm using him. He's always doing these things for me, and he goes out of his way to do them. I think he has a crush on me, but I'm not sure. I like him as a friend and I know I should be the happiest girl in school since he's the most popular guy in my class, but I don't think I can return his feelings. I don't know why, but he just doesn't like my type. Maybe it's the fact that he's a little too nice. I don't think I could stand to have a guy as my boyfriend if he's always kowtowing to me. I would feel like I'm using him, like now. _

_It's not fair that Houjou has to fall in love with me, though. I know that he would make the perfect boyfriend if he found the right girl. I plan on telling him so myself before school starts back up again the week after next. I don't mean to be cruel or callous or anything, but if I don't do something before it's too late, I could hurt Houjou's feelings and lose his friendship. I don't want to end up taking advantage of some guy that's swooning over me like a little puppy. That's not what I built up for myself, so I can't just let that happen. At first, I did like the idea of having my first boyfriend with the nicest guy in school, but now my mind's changed. I guess…maybe Houjou just chose the wrong girl. I hope that the next one will be just perfect for him. I just wish I could find mine…_

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The next morning, Kagome woke up to someone shaking her. As she opened her eyes slowly, she saw slight darkness and remembered that the book was over her eyes. She pulled her diary from her face and was blinded by the sunlight pouring from the window.

'_Ah, it burns!' her mind yelled groggily. She tried to cover her head with the comforter, wanting to go back to sleep. _

"Get up, wench!" she heard a very familiar voice say.

"Go away… It's too early in the day to get up…" she mumbled, hoping that the arms of sleep would welcome her back again for at least another hour…or five.

"Early? It's a quarter to twelve. Get out of bed so your grandfather can stop telling me about this damn temple. I'm the only one around that's up since your mom left earlier. Did you even hear me? I said get up!" Inuyasha snatched the covers from Kagome. She shivered from the sudden loss of the warmth and curled up into a ball. Inuyasha sighed. "You're pitiful, you know that?"

"So sue me. I was up late last night reading. Now go away. Wake me up when it's a decent hour…" Kagome reached back for the covers but stopped. She looked at the towering hanyou, who was glaring at her with the weirdest look. She followed his gaze down to her nightshirt and screamed the first word that came to her mind, grasping to cover her slightly exposed bosom.

"Osuwari!"

Unexpectedly, Inuyasha suddenly slammed to the floor, making everything unsteady in the room shake. Luckily, the only thing that fell was the picture hanging up on her wall to her left. It fell directly into her lap, and she picked it up to look at it.

When the spell finally wore off, he looked up at her growling lowly. "Whatcha do tha- What's so funny?"

Kagome was close to turning red holding in her laughter. She looked over at him and shoved the picture into his face. He backed off a little to focus on the photograph. No wonder she was cracking up like a nut.

It was a photo of Kagome sleeping soundly in Inuyasha's arms, him also asleep. The picture was innocent enough, if you ignored the fact that Inuyasha looked like a drag queen. He had on black lipstick with a crimson lip outline, blue eyeliner, purple blush, and deep blue mascara. His hair was plaited into a million pigtails with a multi-color show of ribbons. The best part of it all was that someone had ingeniously placed on a clip-on nose ring and painted a beautifully done mustache on his face. In fact, the culprits were evident behind them, laughing as they painted their partners face. Apparently, they were on an airplane, and Shippou, Kirara, Sango, and Rin were sitting directly behind them. In addition, a very obvious hand was reaching out for Sango, attempting the inevitable.

Inuyasha looked away blushing, remembering well and vividly the implications after he woke up, as Kagome burst out laughing like a maniac. He picked himself up from the floor and looked the still recovering young woman. "Whatever. Just hurry and get up. It gets annoying when your grandfather keeps trying to talk me about centuries-old legends and then yelling at me for no reason. I swear he has more mood swings than you." He left.

Kagome fixed her room back up and got dressed. After straightening her hair up, she went downstairs for a very late and overdue breakfast. She ended up fixing herself a small salad and some fruit. While she ate, she noticed that her grandfather kept wandering around, especially outside. There probably wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't for the fact that it was drizzling out there. Even Inuyasha was inside, preferring to sit on the living room windowsill, just looking off into the distance.

Kagome put the dishes in the sink and started washing them. When the kitchen door slid open, Kagome called for her grandfather. "Grandpa, could you come here please?"

"Yes, Kagome dear? What is it?" he asked in a gentle tone.

"Are you all right? You were outside in the rain and you're soaked."

"Yes, why do you ask?" he asked, his tone becoming a little harsh.

Kagome was taken back some. "Nothing. I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay. It's not like you do something like that, I think. But why were you outside while it was drizzling? I'm sure whatever you were doing could have waited until the rain stopped…"

"Do not concern yourself with my welfare. I am old enough to know how to take care of myself. I don't need a child like yourself to worry about me when you _think_ you know me. You already have enough problems with yourself, seeing as you don't even know yourself. So stay out of my business. It would do you best." Grandpa turned around and started to walk away.

"But, Grandpa, I was just worried."

"If you must worry, worry about your illness, not mine. You already have enough problems. There's no need for you to…ah!" Grandpa suddenly grabbed the side of his head and leaned against the wall for support.

"Grandpa!" Kagome tried to hold onto the old man.

"Get off of me, girl! Ah, my head…what did I just say?"

"A-Are you okay? Come on and sit down. Maybe you're just dizzy."

"Leave me alone, I say! I don't need your help." The old man pushed Kagome back into the kitchen and walked off.

Kagome stood there, trying to keep from crying. Even her own grandfather was denying her. Inuyasha suddenly appeared before her. "Kagome, what was with all the noise? Kagome? A-Are you crying?"

Kagome wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt and looked up at the hanyou. "I-I think something's wrong with grandpa. H-He's behaving strangely. I don't know why, b-but I just know he's not himself. I think he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you. Don't think like that. Maybe he's just cranky. He'll come around."

"No, it's not like that. He-" Kagome was interrupted when she heard something fall to the ground heavily. It sounded like it came from the stares.

Inuyasha and Kagome rushed to the stairway and saw the old man collapsed on the foot of the stairs. His form seemed to be shaking. Inuyasha went to him and tried to turn him around. "Hey, old man! You okay?" When he was turned around, Kagome screamed.

Kagome's grandfather's eyes were rolled to the back of his head as his mouth was wide open. He was foaming at the mouth. His arms and legs were shaking as his face was twitching all over. His whole body was stiff but shaking all over.

"Kagome, hurry and call an ambulance. Hurry!" Inuyasha said in a calm but demanding tone. Kagome just stood there, shaking her head as her hands covered her mouth. "Kagome! Did you hear me? Call an ambulance! The man needs help!" She just backed slowly, fear evident on her face. "Dammit all, Kagome!" Inuyasha carefully laid his head on the steps and rushed to the kitchen to dial the operator.

"Gr-Grand…Grandpa!" Kagome ran to her grandfather's stiffened body. He had stopped shaking and was breathing hoarsely, sounding like he was choking. She grabbed his shoulders, hoping to wake him up. "Grandpa," she repeated. She kept sobbing his name as she buried her face in his damp shrine robes. She shook her head, hoping to deny the fact that maybe she caused this to happen. She cried as she heard Inuyasha yell at the operator for an ambulance, as he told the address, as he tried to pick her up from the unconscious man, as the paramedics took his body on the stretcher and into the ambulance down the shrine steps, as Inuyasha held her close to calm her.

**Shikon no Tama- Jewel of Four Souls, the Sacred Jewel**

**Ashita no Mirai- Future of Tomorrow, 100 fictional college/academy. It was just a name I wanted to come up with for the story. However, Tokyo University of Foreign Studies and University of Tokyo are really colleges in Japan. I had to have some other colleges than just my one, right?**

**The Evil Ramen King: Again, I apologize for causing any extended nosebleeds, excessive laughter, or any bruises for falling out of your chairs. I had ABSOLUTELY no intention of doing that. StarrilightHotaru made me do it. I give her props for that, even though I do regret it somewhat for doing that to you all. **

**I have finally updated. Star told me that someone had e-mailed her about me updating this so here it is, in its full glory of insanity. Well, school's back in so I guess I'm restricted some to the computers. So that means I gotta go now. See ya!**

**BA326's Final Thoughts**

Does it make sense to be on the phone with someone and YahooIMing them at the same time? I mean, all Star and I were doing on IM was making up new ways to use swear words, making things like Shitalicious and Biotchified. And then we started naming as many J-pop songs that we knew. Are we in any case SANE! Well, that's what sugar, caffeine, and boredom does to ya. Jaa!


	8. Chapter 8 Distant

Chapter 08 Distant

"Zenya?"

Inuyasha looked up from the floor, in which he was surely making a hole from pacing. He saw an assistant holding a clipboard, looking for the couple that he had just called. "What is it this time?" Inuyasha asked a _little_ unnerved.

"The doctor is ready to see you," he replied.

"Finally!" Inuyasha looked down at the young woman sitting in a chair near him. Kagome didn't budge as if she hadn't heard the nurse. "Kagome, the doctor wants to see us." She still didn't move, as if she was staring off into space. "Kagome," Inuyasha said as he gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped at the slight touch, returning from her reverie. She looked up at Inuyasha, her eyes blank. Slightly perturbed by her expression, Inuyasha repeated, "The doctor wants to see us."

Kagome gave a very slight, almost unnoticeable, even to Inuyasha, jerk as she rose from her spot. Inuyasha started off, and Kagome followed near beside him.

She walked as if she didn't know where she was going, Inuyasha noticed. Her expression was solemn, annulled. It was as if she believed that nothing existed. It disturbed him very.

Kagome hadn't spoken a word since the ambulance arrived to pick up her grandfather. Together, they rode in the car and followed the ambulance to the hospital. She was quiet, detached. Even though he was so close, she looked as if she was unreachable, so secluded from the world around her. The concept of her being like this…it was terrifying. It was hard enough when she wasn't happy, or just content, as she had always been, before…

Inuyasha shook his head. This was not the time for him to drift off into his thoughts. He knew the reason behind Kagome's behavior. She believed it was her that caused her grandfather's sickness. No one could really blame her. The old man had an abrupt seizure, but not one of them knew why. There wasn't enough understanding to know the cause without the doctor telling them. Inuyasha was sure that it wasn't because of her and knew that Kagome would stop beating herself up after she found out the truth. He could sense the storm inside her. It was slowly tearing her apart as she couldn't understand what was happening to her life, at least of what she knew or remembered.

The three turned the final corner to the wing where Kagome's grandfather's room was. The nurse stopped before the door and opened it. Inside was grandfather Higurashi and the family doctor.

"Doctor?" the nurse called.

Dr. Tanomoshii looked up. "Yes?"

"You wanted to see the family."

"Oh, yes, Mr. and Mrs. Zenya, a moment please." The doctor went back to his clipboard, checking off a few more things. Finally, he joined the couple outside in the hallway. He quietly shut the door and placed the clipboard in the bin on the door.

The doctor first looked at Inuyasha and then at Kagome, immediately recognizing her. "Ms. Higura- pardon me, Mrs. Zenya, it has been a while. My have you grown. I didn't know that you had married. I heard that you've been diagnosed with amnesia not too long ago. I hope everything's alright." The doctor gave a small smile.

"Huh?" Kagome looked up from her gaze at the doctor. She was still dazed and slow to her surroundings.

Inuyasha noticed this and reacted quickly. He stepped forward slightly, protectively. "Get on with it, doctor. How is he?" he said, nodding towards the door.

The doctor sighed, his attempts at starting a conversation failed. "Mr. Higurashi's condition is stable, no fatal or lasting signs. He had a case of hypoglycemia."

"Hypo-what?"

"Hypoglycemia. It's a condition, mostly found in diabetics. It's when the sugar level in a patient's blood stream is too low. We call it hypo." The doctor looked to see if the couple were following.

"So, you're saying his sugar was low?" The doctor nodded. "What does this hypo mean?"

"It means Mr. Higurashi either took too much insulin or he didn't eat enough sugar within the past few days. Really, it could be both. By the way, was your grandfather acting, how do say, strange lately?" he looked for Kagome to answer.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She nodded her head almost unnoticeably, but Inuyasha caught it.

"She thinks so. Why?"

"Another sign of hypo. During the condition, the patient has several symptoms that are very obvious to others and some that are subtle, even to the most perceptive. Some evident features include aggression, paleness, irritability, confusion, and trembling. Perhaps something such as an argument or a disagreement could have stimulated his heart rate, speeding it up."

Inuyasha looked at Kagome as her chin fell to her chest. It must have hurt to hear that…

"Well," the doctor continued, "Whatever had happened lead to a seizure, classified as a tonic-clonic seizure. This type of seizure is very common in elderly and sickly people. Seeing as how a seizure was abrupt, all I can assume is that your grandfather has been in hypo for at least several days."

"So, will he be alright?"

"Of course. Like I mentioned before, his condition is very stable. There's nothing to worry about since it was too serious. We'll be monitoring him for the next two days to make sure that nothing else occurs, and he'll be going home. If you have any more questions, just call the nurse and he'll be with you if you need him. I must be going. Oh, and please try not to disturb him too much. He will probably seem a little confused, but it's natural."

The doctor walked off, and Inuyasha looked back at Kagome. "Kagome? Do you wanna go in?"

She nodded jerkily. He slowly opened the door and let Kagome in and followed after. Her grandfather was resting in the bed with an IV of sugary fluid hooked up to him. Kagome stood quietly, and Inuyasha did the same. He didn't want to disturb her, but at the same time wanted to take her away from this place and somehow manage to comfort her. He couldn't stand seeing Kagome like this but was powerless to do so otherwise.

Suddenly, he smelled the stinging sensation of salt and quickly looked at Kagome. Her head down, her shoulders trembling. She was crying silently. Inuyasha hesitated before reaching out for Kagome. Was he sure that he could do good for her this time? Even in just trying to comfort the one he truly loved? He wouldn't know without trying. He turned her around and brought her close, hoping to somehow give her the strength that she desperately needed.

Inuyasha cringed inside. Kagome was the one that had more strength and courage than he had ever hoped to show for her. She was the strongest being that he knew, even more, stubborn. She wouldn't dare show weakness without it affecting her emotionally, but this time was different. Not knowing herself, seemingly causing trouble for others, how could she muster up the strength when her own conflict was tearing at her? Sure, the doctor could explain everything down to the bone about what had scientifically and medically happened, but he couldn't reassure that nothing was Kagome's fault or erase the thoughts that Inuyasha knew were going through her mind. What could he do to help ease the pain? Kagome had to know for herself, but there was no way he could get into her mind and ease the pain. All he could do is just hold her, even until the end of time, before she could finally release those foreboding thoughts of hers.

"Kagome?" came a weak voice.

Kagome pulled her head from Inuyasha's chest and looked tearfully at her grandfather.

"Kagome, dear, where am I?"

Letting her go, Inuyasha watched as she knelt by the bedside and took her grandfather's hand, smiling hopelessly at him. It was an empty smile, but it was meant to reassure.

Mr. Higurashi's eyes widened slightly, acknowledging what her look meant. He closed his eyes, a dry tear falling from his closed lids. "I…I'm sorry, Kagome. I'm so sorry."

Kagome squeezed his hand as more tears fell from her eyes.

Inuyasha gazed upon them, and, somehow, he felt like he didn't belong, like he was a burden. _'I'm sorry…Kagome…'_

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'_I guess…maybe Houjou just chose the wrong girl. I hope that the next one will be just perfect for him. I just wish I could find mine…'_

'_Find the right one…'_ Kagome thought_. 'Why does that thought keep reoccurring in my head?' _She looked down at her diary. It hadn't been opened in over a week.

Her grandfather had come home four days ago, the doctor releasing him as soon as he found him recovered. He hadn't remembered what had happened before or after the seizure. In fact, he didn't remember anything from that morning. Doctor Tanomoshii told Mrs. Higurashi, _"Mr. Kenja needs to be monitored for a while when he takes his insulin, just to make sure that he takes the right dosage. Also, he will need to take a pill prescribed for seizures. It lessens the chance of another episode like this to happen."_

Kagome took on the responsibility of monitoring her grandfather, feeling that the whole thing was still her fault. At the moment, however, grandpa Higurashi was asleep, and Mrs. Higurashi was watching over him, allowing for Kagome to have some time to herself.

'_Maybe, maybe I keep thinking of what I wrote down because of what had happened. Inuyasha…was different from usual. Maybe it's just me, but that day, when he held me, I felt a sadness, a hopelessness that he hid within his soul. It called out to me, as if it was trying to pull my sadness away and allow him to carry it. But…why?'_

She hadn't seen much of Inuyasha since they came back to the shrine with her grandfather. Of course, Inuyasha was still on the shrine grounds, just not within plain sight. Kagome wanted to talk with him, but every time that she did see him, she couldn't muster the strength to open her mouth. The look he had in his eyes, she could tell that his sadness had deepened with every look she gave him, as if he was ashamed of something. It bothered her to no end.

Kagome brought her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. She stared intently on the blue and pink book before her. This one, tiny book held all the answers that she wanted, needed so desperately. But, somewhere in her mind, something was holding her back. If she would just open and read this small book, then all her questions would cease to exist. So why didn't she reach out for the book.

A voice made itself known in her head, a voice very similar to her own.

'_Don't open that book. Do you know what is in that book?'_

"Yes, my memories that I wanted to remember. Memories chosen from my past that I wanted to cherish forever."

'_No, the memories written in there are not the things you seek for yourself. The memories in there are those that you wrote down, just so that you would never have to remember them again.'_

"If I didn't want to remember them, then why did I write them down? It wouldn't make sense."

'_Your memories, so full of pain, so full of sorrow… Do you truly wish to seek out those things that hurt you the most? Do you want to know why you feel such a longing to escape the pain that plagues you? The pain of those memories that haunt you even though you know not of them?'_

"I seek to know the truth of my past, to know why I am the way I am, how my life came to be full of these people, especially my husband. I love him, and yet, I am not sure if I love him. Why did I fall in love with him? Why is it that I know that deep down, my world revolves around him and he doesn't seem the least bit interested? So many questions that I know are in this book… I must…" Kagome reached for the book.

'_Stop! Don't touch that book! The truth that you seek, it is not something that is desirable. It does not contain the happiness that your heart desires, the information that you wish to use to fill that void inside you. You wrote in this book to forget, to lock away the memories that you wished to never remember again. This diary is full of sadness that you erased from your mind on purpose. Don't release those memories that will bring you nothing but sorrow!_

'_That husband of yours… He is the source of your pain. Do you know why?'_

"My…My pain?"

'_Yes. He's the one that breaks your heart and causes you pain. That Inuyasha…that half-breed…he despises you. He only uses you and cares nothing for you. If you open that book, you'll know why you're hurting so much. This book written out of misery, out of the hope of never hurting…is this truly the truth you seek? Wouldn't it be better to not know and be happy than to understand the truth and be full of misery?'_

"Maybe…but, if I don't know the truth, then how can I go on in life without knowing whose life I'm leading? My own, or the one that other people make it out to be? Besides, this is my life that I've be ruining, not yours. So leave me alone, whoever you are!"

'_Very well. I warned you, but you heed me not. I'll leave…for now…'_

Kagome sensed that the presence had left, and she was once again alone. Perplexed, she picked up the book and unlocked it. She read for a while before coming to one specific entry that caught her interest.

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_April 14, 1999_

_Today, we received a new student. It's not unusual that we get new students, especially during the beginning of the first trimester of the school year. But this guy, he was different. I don't mean that he was weird or anything like that. It's just… I got this weird feeling whenever I look at him. He's much different from the others. I know he's not human, like Sango and Miroku, but he's not youkai, like Shippou. It's kinda like the aura that surrounds Kirara and Rin. Their youki is inconsistent, as was this guy's. To me, it seemed to fluctuate differently from the others. I can't tell fully, but I can't help but get a strange feeling from him. It's…inexplicable…especially with my still underdeveloped powers. All I can say is that I think I need to watch this guy. I don't want to be judgmental about someone that I know nothing about…especially if I haven't taken the time to get to know him. But then, right after school he suddenly disappeared before I had a chance to ask him anything. Maybe…maybe it is better that I keep a close eye on him until I can understand what's going on. Oh, his name…was Zenya Inuyasha…_

_April 20, 1999_

_I finally talked to Zenya-san, and he seemed okay. But I think he was trying to avoid talking to me. I guess I can't blame him. All week, several students kept trying to talk him and get to know him. And then there were some bakas in that class that were picking on him because of his silver hair. I have to admit that he's the first person I've ever seen with silvery white hair and it's kinda amazing to know of someone with a weird hair color. But then again…Rin has naturally blue hair, and Kirara is a blonde with natural black streaks, so I can't say too much. I still think that he's strange… but not in a bad way, I think. I didn't manage much of a conversation with him. I tried several times to start up one with him in the hall way and during lunch, but he apparently didn't feel like talking. I got kinda the disposition around him; as for his personality, I wish anyone good luck with that. I can only guess he wanted to be alone, or maybe, somewhere inside me I felt it but…I think maybe he was lonely. I'll try to look into it, but not too much. I don't him to think that I'm snooping around him and into his business. I'm sure that he's different from the others because of the way he grew up. But then, I can only assume…_

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'_Inuyasha was…lonely? But, what this is saying totally contradicts the Inuyasha that I know! The one I know…he's not lonely at all. He just chooses to seclude himself away from people. I don't get it…'_

A knock came at the door, disturbing Kagome from her reverie. "Yes?"

The door opened. "Kagome, dear are you okay?" It was Ms. Higurashi. "You've been up here all afternoon, so I wanted to check to see if everything is alright."

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just reading a little. How's Grandpa?"

"He's asleep, but he's still managing." Ms. Higurashi gave Kagome a concerned look before sitting on the bed next to her. "Listen, Kagome dear. Don't push yourself too hard. It's not your fault that this happened or anything else for that matter. I'll take care of your grandfather, so don't stress yourself out, okay?"

"Yes, Mama."

"Good. I don't my baby to hurt anymore, but it's up to you to make that decision. I trust your judgment, so don't be pressure. I'll be downstairs if you need anything." She gave her a kiss on the forehead and headed to the door.

"Mama?"

"Yes, dear?"

Kagome looked down at her lap. "Thanks…a lot…"

Ms. Higurashi smiled. "I'm doing only what I can to help my baby girl." She left.

Kagome pondered for a moment at her mother's words.

'_Mom…believes in me…even though I don't in myself. She believes in me even if I don't know myself and I don't remember her. I think it's timethat Istart believing in myself, for a change. Everyone else does, so why shouldn't I?'_

Kagome sighed. "If only it were as easy as saying it…" she said under her breath. She went back to reading and came across another entry that brought even more interest. So much, in fact, thatshe became overwhelmed.

_**;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p**_

_May 7, 1999_

_I…I can't believe what I just heard today. Zenya-san…no, Inuyasha-san, told me something I couldn't believe would ever happen to someone. Today, in my Human Social Relations class, all the students had to pair up. Since it was only me, Rin, Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Inuyasha-san, I paired up with Inuyasha-san while Sango went with Miroku and Rin with Shippou. We were supposed to find out about each other's background and how we grew up. I had no problem telling Inu-san my story, but I had some work to do to get him to talk. Finally, he told me, and I almost didn't want to hear the whole thing. His life, it was so sad._

_The day of his birth, Inu-san's father, the Inu no Taishou, was killed after the sealing of his ultimate enemy, Ryoukotsusei, he believes. He lived with his mother, Izayoi, in his father's manor in Nagoya, until she was murdered, when he seven years old. After that, he wandered for several months, since no one knew of Izayoi's death or of the Inu no Taishou's son. Eventually, someone did find him, and he lived at an orphanage, hoping that someone would adopt him. It was only a year ago that Inu-san was found by his half-brother, Sesshoumaru, whom no one knew of until that moment. This Sesshoumaru turned out to be sired from Inu-san's father's first mate. But before that, Inu-san had been sent to school in Yokohama, where he met Sesshoumaru, of course. And so Inuyasha-san moved with his brother here to Tokyo. However, this isn't the half of it._

_When Izayoi was alive, both he and Inuyasha-san suffered much in the aftermath of the Inu no Taishou's death. They were both rejected by the two separate worlds that still coexists with each other. Izayoi, being a human that mated with a youkai, was shunned by her family and friends when they found out. She only survived for so long afterward because of her son and what her mate's legacy had left behind. Inuyasha-san was scorned upon because he was the impure link between the worlds of human and youkai. He told me that even though he was both, he wasn't really one or the other. He didn't belong in either of the societies. Other than his mother, he wasn't accepted by anyone that knew he was a hanyou. After Izayoi's death, it became worse. Without his mother's protection, he had to run to survive. Since no one knew him and he couldn't find anyone that he recognized, he was chased by many of his father's enemies. How he survived is difficult to explain. He thinks it was just pure luck that he merely lived but that was where his luck ran out. Even though someone found him and brought him to an orphanage, none of the other kids wanted to play or even be near him. They all thought he was a freak. Truly, I don't know why, when he looks pretty normal to me, but Inu-san told me that I wouldn't understand. From what he told me, he felt lonely, unwanted by the people that he was part of. None of the adopting families would take him, only wanting babies or younger children. In time, he was the oldest out of everybody and was approaching the age limit. On his 16th birthday, he had to be let go, and he was back to wandering the streets. He did continue his schooling, but, without a home or any guardians or a job, he wasn't sure he could last. Thank Kami-sama, however, that he did find his brother, or more like his brother found him. Inuyasha-san was in a battle with a youkai that he couldn't handle with just his bare hands. Sesshoumaru, he told me, pushed him aside and destroyed the youkai with one blow. _

_Inuyasha didn't tell me how he managed to move in with his brother, but something tells me that he doesn't really like him, or vice versa. But what kept me thinking about all day was the fact that someone could be rejected by society, to be an outcast from the worlds that he coexists in. To not be able to be accepted or loved by anyone because everyone that you know hates you or is dead…I can't imagine how someone could live on, to continue on like that. It would be too much for me to bear. I've lived a life where everyone loves me, where the greatest lost that I've had was my father's death. Inuyasha-san, he tries to isolate himself from the others, even though he looks just like another student, because he's afraid of being hurt. Isolation, loneliness, separation. Those are the only things he knows. Those are the only things he accepts to be the truth. If anyone enters his world, they could easily break it and he would never be able to live again. He puts up a tough exterior, but, really, he's, in reality, a lost little kid in a world that won't accept him. All that he ever wanted, I'm sure, was for someone to love him, to treat him like he's somebody…_

_Today, I have made decision. From now on, I will be Inuyasha-san's friend. Whether or not I become his only friend, it doesn't matter. I just don't want someone to feel like he's alone in this world and that he has to be or has to create his own in which he belongs. I will not allow Inu-san to be alone, not as long as I can help it. I might be his only friend, but he won't be without at least one. Everyone deserves to feel like he belongs, so I will make sure that Inuyasha does to…_

_**;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p;p**_

Kagome's tears dripped on the already tear-stained pages. She closed the book, dropping it on the bed as she grabbed her legs into a protective brace.

'_Inuyasha…he lived such a sad life… all alone… with no one to care for him. How…How can anyone live like that? Why wasn't anyone there for him? Why didn't anyone care! Left alone, lost in a world where acceptance didn't come for a hanyou like him. Oh, Inuyasha…'_

Kagome sat up and tried to wipe her eyes. "I have to find Inuyasha. I have to know…" Kagome ran out her room and flew down the stairs and out the door. She followed her heart, not her eyes, to Inuyasha in Goshinboku.

"Inuyasha!" she called. She received no answer. She called again, but nothing came. She slumped down on the ground, her back to the base of the tree. "Why won't you answer me?" she whimpered as the tears continued to flow down her face. "Why won't you tell me…?" She brought her knees to her chest, burying her face in her arms as the tears gradually came.

Steady hands picked her up. Quick feet launched her into the branches of the sacred tree. Powerful arms wrapped around her. Soft lips brushed away her tears as the silence calmed her. Intense eyes pierced her gaze. His words spoke great meaning to her in the evening.

"If I told you now, you would break. Wait…just a little longer…"

**Tanamoshii- reliable, trustworth  
Kenja- wise man, sage**

**Yay! The dumb baka finally decided to finish typing this chapter! Pocky and snicker doodles for everyone! **

**I don't know what's wrong with me! I keep coming up with ways of nearly killing off people in this story, and it won't end! Dagh! I need absolute help. Wouldn't you agree? Also, while typing this chapter,I kept getting flashbacks at being at the hospital before my uncle passed. I guess that was the main thing that motivated me, but I'm sorry if this story is getting a little too angsty for some. This story is meant to be...I think...(hold that thought)**

**My procrastination has gotten worse as school has wrung me out and left me dry with sleep deprivation, hunger pangs, and crazy spazzes of insanity. My creative side for this story has left me barren as my head pounds on my like an elephant smashes a watermelon. I am in desperate need of an EXTREMELY long vacation, just to get myself back together. I'm sorry for the VERY late update. I started typing this chapter after the last time I posted, but having school work and papers to write really doesn't give you the time of the day. But I'm back…for the moment. I hope to get started with Engaging Enemies again soon. I'm pretty sure all you fans and others are pretty POed at me, especially with EE, since I haven't done anything for it since May 25, except ponder about future chapters. Procrastination is not good, especially when you're on a schedule. Well, hopefully, I'll get back on track, but there are absolutely no guarantees. If there were, then I would be owing a LOT back to the people. C ya!**

**BA326's Final Thoughts:**

For all of you that are still in school, especially high school, NEVER EVER EVER take 2 college classes in high school, unless you're ready for the torture, blood, pain, and tons of effort it takes from you. Even those that think they're absolutely brilliant, prepare yourself or you'll be crushed. That is why my mind is having a major migraine or whatever and I am not at 200 percent efficiency. I am surviving with barely 75 percent, and that's not normal! And BTW, why is it that when I looked up the Civil War on a Library Card Catalog I found one of the volumes of the Inuyasha manga there? Someone, please, just tell me! Jaa!


	9. Chapter 9 Assistance

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of Forgiving Loss. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

**Chapter 9 Assistance **

The young woman walked into a half-lit great hall. She looked around intently, as if searching for something. Or someone.

"Who has summoned me here? Show yourself. I know someone is here," she spoke evenly.

Automatically, all the lights flicked on. She remained still and calm. "I will not say it twice."

"Impatient are we, My Lady?" an unknown voice spoke.

"Why do you hide behind shadows and illusions?"

"It is merely my way of hospitality. Some find my…presence…intolerable and disturbing. Please think nothing of it."

"I find no geniality in someone who does not face me directly when I speak. You are hiding more than just your presence."

"Perceptive as always I see."

The woman turned towards the door. "Do not speak as if you know me."

"Ah, but I_ do_ know you, well, at least know _of_ you. You have quite the fame among certain groups. I bid you not to leave so soon. You have only arrived."

"I do not like having my time wasted. State your purpose or I shall leave."

"Impatient as well, I see. Very well, I will get straight to the point. I would like to hire your assistance. A job, if you please."

"And why would someone like you need my assistance?"

"It is merely a task that I myself cannot accomplish, and you are the only person who can do it. Of course, you may ask for any price in return."

"I am not interested." The woman continued to the doorway.

"May I inquire as to why?"

"No. But I shall tell you. You are not the only one who is well-informed. I have heard of you, Naraku. You would go through to any extent just so that you would not soil your own hands. My service cannot be bought by the likes of you. Besides, what I desire _you_ cannot grant."

"Are you so sure?"

"More than necessary."

"Your greatest desire can easily be granted, if you wished it. My capabilities stretch much farther than you could imagine. There is a person that you wish to see. A hanyou, is he not?"

"Your endeavors for my services tempt me to laugh. It is much deeper than you think. Human manipulation will not satisfy me."

"Ah, but, My Lady, manipulation is more than what it appears on the surface. That hanyou will be yours by his free will, _if_ you cooperate."

"Continue."

* * *

_May 13, 1999_

_I've been talking with Inu-kun a lot lately. It seems that he trusts me. I hope so. I want…to know everything about him. He's so mysterious, but that's a good thing, at least, that's what I believe. He doesn't talk much around other people, but when we're alone, it's like he opens up and I can read him freely. He's gruff and a little rough around the edges, but once you get to know him you see that he tries really hard to be polite. He has his times when he blurts out offensive things, but he doesn't mean it. When we're alone, it's like he transforms into a different person in front of me, someone who's vulnerable and reserved. This Inu-kun relies on me as if I'm his only hope. When this happens, it kills me a little more. I see him, and I feel the need to shelter him from the world, to let no one see this side of him. I don't pity him. I can't. It's a different feeling I get, one that I cannot name. Kaasan once told me that this feeling is one that everyone feels when they are with their soul mates. I can't possibly imagine such a thing between us! It's…not a thought that scares me. It's just…I don't know…different from pity and stronger than love._

_Today, he asked me what I thought of him. I didn't know how to answer. I told him so. He said that I didn't have to answer if I didn't want to. I felt embarrassed. I told him before that he could ask any question that came to his mind and I'd answer it. I failed to do so. I explained that it wasn't that I didn't _want_ to, I just didn't know how. It was an unusual question for him to ask. I assumed that he would already know, but that was foolish of me. How could he if I myself didn't? He just scoffed and told me to let it alone. We didn't talk for a while. In the tree we were sitting in, I concentrated during the silence. Finally, I told him:_

"It's hard to explain what I feel about anyone. For each person it's different. If each person were to come ask me what I think about them, I wouldn't be able to answer. What I feel can't be described or put into tangible form. What I think of you can't be put into words. The best I can do is show how I feel by listening to what you have to say and be someone that you can rely on. I'm sorry…if that wasn't what you wanted to hear."

_I had turned to leave. I hadn't been sure if I could have faced him after what I'd said. I didn't want to see him broken, torn by the words of a friend that he thought he could trust. But he held my wrist._

_Instead, I was the one who was torn by his look of desperation, of fear. He told me:_

"Matte, onegaiitashimasu. You don't have to leave if you don't want to. I shouldn't have asked; it was stupid of me. Gomen nasai, Higurashi-sama."

_It broke me, that lost expression of his. He released my wrist and turned. I still couldn't understand what was going through my mind or his, but the next thing I knew I was holding onto him, hoping to share his pain._

"Inuyasha-kun, please don't think that way. I told you before to ask me anything you want and I won't mind. Tell me anything and I'll listen. Shinjite, Inuyasha-kun."

_I held him for a long time, and he didn't mind. Finally, he began to tell me about someone. He said he had one other friend before, a long time ago when he was temporarily in an orphanage near Kyoto. A new girl had come to the orphanage with her little sister, just losing their parents and home to a brush fire in the countryside. Even though most of the children didn't talk to him, let alone play with him, the girl came to him one time when he couldn't get his favorite bouncy ball from the other kids. She gave him back his ball, smiling. She had become the only person who had smiled at him in the place. They became each other's only friend in the orphanage since the other kids alienated her because she talked with the "weirdo." They had known each other for over a year when suddenly an old couple adopted the girl and her sister. Both were saddened by their separation, but Inu-kun said that they had promised to see each other again. _

_Even now he still remembers that promise he made with that little girl. It's kinda depressing when you think about it. Being separated from your first and only friend isn't something that you can just brush off. The more I hear about Inu-kun's past, the more I want to be by his side to walk him through his pain. I truly have never felt such a need to be someone's friend such as this. I'm going to stay with Inu-kun for as long as I can. Deep within me, I wish to stay forever.  
_

_

* * *

_

"Inuyasha-kun…? I wonder why he doesn't speak much like back then…like in these entries that I wrote. I think it would be nice if he would talk…every now and then," Kagome whispered to herself. Then she sighed and flopped back against her pillow. "But he told me to wait. I have to…because I trust that he will keep his promise." She rolled onto her stomach and buried her face into the fluffy pink pillow. "But I wanna know!" she whined. Again, she turned to lie on her side. "Believe, Kagome. You know he won't break his promise." Once more, she flipped onto her other side. "I know, but I can't help but be anxious!" She continued like that until someone knocked at the door, throwing her off. She lost her thoughts as well as her balance when she saw that it was Inuyasha."Itai…" she mumbled, soothing her poor hip from the fall.

"Ka-go… Are you okay?"

"Daijoubu, Inuyasha-kun."

"What were you doing?"

"Just thinking." Kagome stood up and straightened her skirt.

"Why? Is something the matter?"

"No, I've just been reading lately."

"What are you reading?"

"My diary…I wrote it a long time ago when I was in high school." She pointed to the open blue and pink notebook on the bed.

"Do you remember anything yet?"

She cast her gaze away. "Gomen nasai…" she whispered.

Inuyasha sighed. He didn't mean to make her upset again. "Daijoubu. Don't worry about it. Come on. There's somewhere I wanna take you."

Kagome's eyes lit up as she brightened. "Really?" She tried not to sound too eager.

Inuyasha just waved it off. "Don't be so excited. You look like a little kid when you do."

"Oh. Gomen nasai…" She bowed slightly in apology.

Inuyasha backed away in surprise. "J-Just come on already."

"Hai."

Inuyasha drove Kagome across the city to a temple, one that was different in structure to the Higurashi grounds but with similar shrines. Kagome looked around while following Inuyasha to what looked like a training area. "Inuyasha-kun, why are we here?"

"To meet someone, someone who might be able to help you better than I can for now."

"Oh."

Kagome looked away, feeling ashamed. _'I _am_ being a burden on him. Why did I have to go and be so nosy? I should have just left it alone and waited for him to come to me. Now I probably ruined everything. He probably hates me right now. I should…apologize to him now.'_

"Inuyasha…I'm sorry for the other day. I shouldn't have acted that way before. It's none of my business and….Gomen na-"

Inuyasha suddenly grabbed Kagome and engulfed her in an embrace. "Stop apologizing. None of this is your fault so stop being so guilty. I hate it when you're like this, so please, Kagome…"

"Gome-" Inuyasha tensed against her. Kagome rested her forehead against his chest in defeat. "Arigatou, Inuyasha." She smiled

There was a pause before Inuyasha pulled away. "Good to see you better," he said gruffly, looking away. Kagome looked up to see him blushing. She smiled to herself as she tentatively put her hand in his. He glanced at her and gulped before closing his hand around hers.

'_He's rough around the edges,'_ Kagome concluded to herself, _'But he's sweet and shy. I really do like him.'_

Kagome noticed that Inuyasha's mood changed when she felt him tighten his grip. Apparently, he noticed someone's footsteps approaching. Soon, she heard a maiden's voice coming from the stairs behind them.

"It has been a long time, Inuyasha."

"Yeah, it has." Inuyasha and Kagome turned around to see a miko in traditional robes carrying a bow and a quiver of arrows. "Kagome, this is Kikyou, an old friend."

* * *

"Sumimasen, sir, but the aid you have requested, she accepted." 

A man in a burgundy suit looked up from his respective work behind his desk. "Really. Good."

"Sir, there's something more. It seems that Inuyasha-san has requested help of his own."

"And?"

"We believe that he asked for the miko, Kikyou-sama, to help Kagome-sama with her training. Since she has forgotten everything, including how to use her powers, he requested her help to assist his mate with her training."

"Interesting."

"Sir, don't you think we should intervene on this matter? We don't want Kagome-sama to rush things if we intend on continuing our plans. If something goes wrong, we may have to make alterations. We should-"

The man held up a hand. He had on a bored look.

"But, sir…"

"Enough. We will allow Inuyasha his freedom for now. If anything gets out of hand, then we may intervene. But for now, Inuyasha chooses what he wishes for Kagome-sama. It is not our concern."

"Sir."

"You may leave."

"Sir."

When his subordinate left, the man turned to face the window of his office, looking over the city. "Things are going as planned. Soon, we will have all the information we need and this will be done for good. Don't fail me now, nee-chan."

* * *

"Are you sure that you want to train with me? I cannot guarantee that you will recover everything since you possess more potency than I do," Kikyou queried as she poured more tea. 

"If Inuyasha believes in you, then I will too, Kikyou-sama."

Kikyou studied Kagome and then looked towards Inuyasha. "Very well, then. I warn you, however, my lessons are harsh, so do not expect me to be soft on you just because you are the mate of a friend."

"Understood. Arigatou-gozaimasu, Kikyou-sama."

Kikyou looked back at Kagome and smiled kindly. "Please, _Kikyou_."

"H-Hai, Kikyou."

"I should be the one who is flattered, Kagome-sama. Helping someone with such great power, _I_ am the one who is honored." Kagome blushed and thanked her. Kikyou turned once more to Inuyasha and nodded to him.

"Kagome."

"H-Hai?"

"Could you excuse us for a second? Kikyou and I…have some things to discuss."

"Oh, go right ahead. Don't mind me."

Inuyasha and Kikyou walked out of the kitchen and walked around on the training grounds.

"She is lovely, Inuyasha. I believe you chose your mate well."

"Yeah."

"She makes you happy, does she not? Or is it something else?"

"Kikyou, I didn't mean to call you like this after so long. I know it's pretty selfish, not trying to find you after so long. And when I did, it was only for a favor."

"Inuyasha, do not blame yourself. What you are doing is in itself self_less_. Someone without powers as ours can clearly see that you care for her beyond human limitations. Because you love her so much, you cannot stand seeing her agonized. You can sense her sadness, and you too become depressed until she shines again. Her modesty is what draws you in; her constant worry is what drives you to keep her happy. She is someone who can communicate with you without a barrier of any sort. She accepts you for whom and what you are, even if she doesn't remember just yet what those are. You realize this, yet you are not satisfied because she is hurting. That is why you cannot stand separating from her, and right now you are."

"We are?"

"Yes. Although you are physically here with her, your hearts are not connected."

"Connected…?"

"You could sense what she felt before, correct?"

"Yes…"

"But now you feel distant to her." Inuyasha nodded to indicate what she said was true. "You can still sense her presence and any strong emotions she emits, but when she is alone and you are not near, it seems like all you feel is yourself. That is what I meant by not being connected. Before the accident, she entrusted herself to you one hundred percent and vice versa. Your souls were so entwined that not even distance could sever the bond you two held. But now that she has forgotten everything, including you, she does not realize your youki and, therefore, cannot bond with it. If anything, she is resisting it because she does not recognize it, neither do her miko powers recognize it since they are part of her conscience."

"Does that mean…in order to connect again, she has to remember who I am and recognize the existence of both of our powers?"

"Yes," Kikyou nodded sadly. "I know this will be difficult because it is difficult to start over. But if you truly love her as you do, you will. Beginning again is always hard, but you must remember this: you won't be alone in doing this. Kagome is doing her best to help, and her friends are with her, as well as with you. Kagome will not be the same Kagome that you once knew her as, but she will be a greater person. Believe me when I say this, Inuyasha. Remake that bond, and we will all see a change for the better."

**YAY! After eons of no updates, you get a new chapter! Sugoi masen! Je suis très heureuse et très fier! I'm so sorry for not updating in so long. I'm pretty sure a lot of people have given up, but for those who are reading this, never give up on me. I love typing probably as much as you love reading awesome fanfics. I can't stand seeing a product of mines unfinished. This story, as well as the others, will get finished, as long as Kami-sama allows it. We're finally getting into the end of phase one of this story. Two more chapters and I will begin phase two. You probably have no clue as to how this story will go since a lot of people have said this is one of the most original stories they've read so far, and I'm pretty sure it is since it's AU and the main plot has hardly been unveiled. But no worries! The next chapter will be totally full of surprises. I promise with the nice girl pose! winks thumbs up shiny tooth smile**

**Okay, maybe I've watched too much Naruto and love Gai-sensei's hilarity too much. In fact, other than school, Naruto and this new anime called Ouran High School Host Club have been my main distractions from typing. But I'm making progress. In less than two months, I've watched over 110 episodes of Naruto, and right now, at episode 147, I'm ready to tear Sasuke's hot ass up. He's been pissing me off with his choices. But at least he didn't kill Naruto. That's the main thing. He's hot, but the avenger thing has gone a little bit too far. Oh well, I'll eventually get to the episode I want, I think. Anyway, enuff gibberish. Mate raishuu!**

**BA326's Final Words**

It's summer, and I've a job! Yay me! I work at Mickey D's, and my feet and legs are killing me! But hey, it pays well for a full time high school student with flexible hours. I just wish that one of my co-workers would stop blabbing her mouth off and do her f-ing job. She doesn't take her job serious enough, and then she complains. She kinda has me POed. But other than that, my job is great. And I'm finally getting serious with learning Japanese. I finally used that program my cousin bought for me for my birthday like two months ago, and I understand a lot better the Japanese language. Hopefully, by the time I get to college, I'll be ready to learn more than just the basics. Anyway, see ya! Ja ne!


	10. Chapter 10 Burden

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of **Forgiving Loss**. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, _a lot._**

**Chapter 10 Burden**

"It's been about two weeks, right? Since Kagome started her training?"

"Yeah."

"And she's gotten this good already?"

"Yeah."

"That's amazing!"

"Yeah."

"If only she'd recover this fast, then everything could be solved."

"Yeah."

"Do you know any other word than 'yeah?'?"

"Yeah."

Rin pulled at Inuyasha's hair, trying to catch his attention. "Inuyasha, you need to snap out of it, okay?"

"Yeah."

Rin groaned in dismay. "Okay, I get it, Inuyasha. I know what you're trying to say. You don't want me around, is that it?"

"Yeah."

Rin frowned. "Fine, be that way. I'll leave you alone. See if I care that you're feeling sad and lonely while you sit there doing nothing but saying 'yeah'." The neko hanyou leapt from her perch in the tree next to Inuyasha. "Hey, Kagome, I'm gonna go, okay?"

Kagome released her current arrow, which directly hit the bull's eye. She looked back and waved to her friend. "Okay! Thanks for stopping by, Rin. Ja ne!"

"Have fun with Mr. Mopey over here. Jaa!" Then Rin leapt down the stairs to the street and out of sight.

"Mr. Mopey?" Kagome queried. She looked at Inuyasha as he dropped from the tree as well. "Who was she talking about?"

"Don't know, don't care. Ready for a break?"

Kagome nodded with a smile. "Actually, Kikyou said that she had somewhere to go today, so she said that I could stop early today if I wished."

"You ready now?"

"Almost. I just need to clean up a bit. Could you help me store the targets away please? I'll pick up all the arrows."

"Yoshi."

"Arigatou, Inuyasha-kun." Kagome smiled brightly at him.

Inuyasha turned around slightly blushing and tried to wave it over. "Wakata, wakata. L-Let's just hurry up so we can go."

"Yoshi!"

Inuyasha pulled out all the arrows from the targets and handed the arrows to Kagome before picking up all five of the targets and walking to the edge of the shrine to the storage room. As he was setting the targets into their respective places, he noticed an unfamiliar scent on the grounds. Remaining calm, he finished storing the targets and locked the shed tight, all the while sniffing out the intruder with a low growl. Not able to pinpoint the intruder's location, he called out, "Show yourself, whoever you are."

"Aw, the cute wittle doggie _does_ have a good sense of smell. I guess it's not good enough if you couldn't find me, though," a female squeaked out jokingly in a tiny voice.

"Where are you, you little wench?"

"Ahhh, come on. I wanna have a little fun with the wittle doggie. I know! Let's play hide and seek. If you can find me, then I'll give you a doggie biscuit. How does that sound?"

"Okay, wench, you just pissed me off. You've just messed with the wrong guy because right now, I wouldn't mind getting a little work out from tearing you apart."

"Oh, oh, do I get to walk the wittle doggie? I've always wanted one to play with, but all I have is a wolfie, and he doesn't like to play as much as I want him to sometimes. We always end up being interrupted."

Inuyasha snarled. "That's it. Either show yourself or I'll just blast you out of your hideout." He unsheathed Tetsusaiga and swung it over his shoulder. _'I can't just blast the whole place. Kikyou might not like that.'_

"Come on. It's no fun if you just ruin the place. Besides, I don't think your friend will like that. Ikuyou! It's a game! Game!"

"Yoshi. You asked for it."

Inuyasha leapt into the trees, hoping to find a bolder trace of her scent, but it was hopeless.

"I hope you don't think that you can find me by just using my scent. You may be able to sense my presence, but I've already arranged for your keen sense of smell to be rendered useless. You'll have to do better than that if you want to win this game."

'_Chikushou. She's right. It's as if she's everywhere simultaneously. And she isn't making any kind of noise. But why can't I tell where she is from her voice?' _Inuyasha leapt from tree to tree, searching for anything out of the ordinary or any sudden movements. He found none.

"Very good, my wittle doggie. You're finally starting to get close. Too bad you don't understand the game."

"I'm tired of being played with! Show yourself, dammit!"

"Ah, temper, temper. You don't want to be put into time out, do you?"

Inuyasha growled in frustration. _'I can't find a single trace of her at all. Her voice isn't coming any specific direction, and her scent is everywhere. But why? She's emitting no youki, so she's most definitely not youkai. But how can she mask her presence so well without the use of youki?'_

"You're getting closer. Just a little bit more and maybe you'll figure out the game. I'll make the rules; you'll just have to figure out the clues."

Inuyasha finally jumped from out of the trees and landed in the middle of the opening. _'She has to be near. There's no way that she could not be here. But where? I have no choice.'_

Inuyasha raised the Tetsusaiga. "Kaze no Kizu!" Tetsusaiga released a powerful lightning blast towards some trees, but before the blast could reach them, it curved upwards and faded into the sky.

"N-Nani! How the hell did that happen?"

"Bad doggie! You almost killed the trees, and that's not very nice! Don't you dare do that again, or I'll have to punish you."

'_So she averted the blast away from the forest. I wonder…'_

"What are you doing? You don't plan on disobeying me and being a bad doggie, do you?"

"I already told you. I'm not your little plaything to do as you please! Kaze no Kizu!" This time, he released a wider blast at the trees, and again it was sent upwards before reaching the trees. He repeated this over and over, and each time had the same outcome.

When the girl spoke again, she sounded exasperated and upset. "Bad doggie! I won't forgive you! And look! You've made a big mess!" The stones of the floor were cracked and debris lay in broken pieces all around Inuyasha. "Now I have to clean up your mess." All of a sudden, the debris was floating and was placed back into their previous respective positions, making the ground completely filled without a single trace of it being damaged.

"How did-?" Inuyasha widened his eyes in surprise. _'That explains it! She's no ordinary human. She has telekinetic powers, using them to avert Tetsusaiga's attacks and to restore the stones. And if she can do that, what else can she do?'_

"Oh, you're so close, Inuyasha. You're just missing one more piece of the puzzle."

'_How did she know my name? And why does she make it seem like she knows what I'm thinking. In fact, it seemed like she knew what I was planning to do this whole time. Does that mean she's…? Chikushou!'_

'_Bingo! You finally figured it out, my wittle doggie! Now that you know that I have psionic abilities, what are you going to do? You still haven't won yet since you don't know where I am still.'_

"So you've been talking in my head this whole time?"

'_I thought we just established this fact, koinu-chan. Weren't you paying attention earlier? If I spoke out loud, then you'd find where I was. Since I make the rules, I can do whatever I want.'_

"Not for long, you won't. Once I find you, you will so pay."

'_You better hurry. I don't think your friend can wait, especially since ookami-chan should be there.'_

"My friend? Kikyou?"

Suddenly, a scream was heard across the shrine grounds.

"Kagome!"

* * *

Kagome screamed as she dropped the bundle of worn out arrows that were knocked from her hands. She was too startled and unaware to see exact details of who knocked into her as he apparently had youkai speed. She had been too preoccupied by her thoughts of Inuyasha to even notice his youki. She turned to the direction that she saw the youkai leave in and found him standing on top of a wall where the targets normally stood. He had shoulder-length brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Despite his human appearance, she could still sense his youki, indicating that he was of a certain youkai.

"Keh, for a great miko, you seem to be a feeble human girl. Are you really the great and powerful Kagome, or did I just catch you on a bad day?"

"H-How do you know my name?"

"Let's just say that I have my sources. How about we focus on more important things such as how you're gonna protect yourself if you don't pay attention. I could've killed you easily right at that moment and still can without lifting a finger." Suddenly, the youkai dodged the arrow that Kagome had quickly launched while he was speaking. "And what was that?"

"Stand still and you'll find out. Now, tell me before I turn you into a youkai kabob. Who are you and why do you know my name?" Kagome brazenly strung up another arrow, ready to aim and fire again if needed.

"Whoa, the fragile miko has toughened up, eh? Well, I guess I can't play like I thought I'd be able to. If I do, I might get hurt. Might, that is."

"I'm not as weak as you think."

"Yeah? The Kagome from before would have known not to leave her guard down so easily without her protector. Or is it that you have forgotten that as well, weak little miko?"

Kagome tried not to let his comment faze her as she aimed once again at him. "I'll ask once more. Who are you and why do you know about me?"

"Those arrows can't hurt me if you have no energy in them. Again with the forgetting I see."

"Shut up! You don't know anything about me!" Kagome yelled as his words were finally cracking her bold countenance.

"Oh, I know more about you than you know about yourself. You believe that you are weak because you could not save yourself from hurting the one you love the most when you do not even remember what that means. You doubt yourself because you feel that you are a burden to everyone around you, and yet you can't trust the words of your lover because he hurts as well because of your suffering. Just because you put up a brave face does not mean that I can't see what's going through your mind. Now, accept the fact that you are nothing but a bundle of doubts and can't go on like this, not when everyone tries to help but you just keep pushing them away. Accept the fact that the only person that you are burdening is yourself."

"Nande…? Why are you doing this to me? You're just like the voice before…" Kagome sank down to her knees sobbing.

"Because I'm here to help you realize something important."

"What?" she asked as she tried to wipe her eyes, still not sure if she should believe this unknown youkai.

"Kagome!" they heard Inuyasha bellow from across the shrine grounds as a resounding boom followed immediately.

"Inuyasha!" she spoke in surprise.

The brown-haired youkai just shook his head. "Looks like she overdid it again."

"She? What are you doing to Inuyasha! Tell me before I forget my reason for not shooting you in the first place." Kagome raised her arrow to him again.

He sighed. "Look, let's not start this again. I'll explain."

* * *

"If you or that youkai of yours dared to have laid a hand on Kagome, I'll make you suffer worse than you can imagine," Inuyasha growled out to the girl whom he still had not found.

'_Depends if you can find me. Besides, I'm sure he didn't do too much to her. I'm pretty sure she's still alive. I think. Does your friend have a tendency to make others angry? My friend has a short temper, kinda like yours. Guess it runs in his family. I heard his brother is worse. You have a brother, right? I heard that he's hot. Oh! What ARE you doing? You can't go that way.'_

"And why the hell not? I'm tired of your babbling."

'_Trust me. You won't want to go that way.'_

Inuyasha disregarded her warning and continued to run towards the direction her left Kagome until he head rushed into something solid, but invisible. He fell back on the ground, but not before receiving the biggest headache in his life. "What the-?" He stood back up and walked until he felt a solid wall blocking his path.

'_It's a shield that not even your sword can penetrate. The only way to get rid of it is to stop me. But, of course, you've gotta find me first. Doesn't exactly work without know where I am, unless you can sense my psyche, which I doubt.'_

"Why you little- I'm tired of being toyed with! Show yourself, dammit!"

'_No can do, Koinu-chan. There wouldn't be a point of hide and seek if you didn't seek me from my hiding spot.'_

Inuyasha took Tetsusaiga in his right hand and began running the perimeter of the barrier with it looking for any weak points.

'_You'll find no weak spots in my barrier. It's much too wide for you to encircle and find any if there were any. I've perfected it to the point that it's balanced everywhere.'_

'_Encircle? That's right. It curves enough to be about a spherical shape. In fact, that's how most barriers are. So if I find out where the center is, then I'll most definitely find her and tear her head off.'_

Inuyasha continued running round until he circled the circumference enough to get a good idea of where the center was. It ended up being right in the middle of the grounds. But still he saw nothing. Some clouds had passed over, and when the sun had shone through, he noticed something peculiar: a shadow that wasn't his. He looked up to see a girl about 100 meters above me smiling and waving down at him. She had long blue hair with dark sapphire eyes and what looked like a long scarf running through a bangle on each of her wrist. (AN: Think of Peppita from Star Ocean)

"You found me! Game over."

"Oh, the _fun_ is just starting, trust me." Inuyasha leapt upwards ready to swing Tetsusaiga and hack the girl in two.

"Wait just a minute. I didn't mean for you to actually attack me." She raised her hand to him and pointed a finger at him.

"Nani?" Suddenly, Inuyasha stopped in midair. His arms and legs could move, but his body had lost all other momentum.

"Don't think that I plan on getting hurt when _I_ didn't even lay a hand on you."

"Let me go, or you will be more than just hurt," Inuyasha growled.

"Inuyasha!"

Both Inuyasha and the mysterious girl looked in the direction of Kagome's voice. She was running by herself, unscathed. Inuyasha's eyes widened as he realized that Kagome hadn't been hurt, that she was perfectly fine.

"Kyourime. Yamete."

"Hai, ookami-niichan!" The girl saluted the guy who was standing on the wall near Kagome. Consequently, she lost her concentration on Inuyasha, and the poor hanyou fell since his immobilization had been made physically right again, otherwise known as the pull of gravity. About two feet from the ground, he suddenly stopped, and the girl placed him gently on the ground.

"Kyourime."

"Gomen nasai. I forgot."

"Inuyasha, daijoubu ka?"

Inuyasha embraced Kagome as soon as she approached him. She almost fell on him at the sudden action, but she balanced herself on her knees. "Inuyasha?"

"Don't ever scare me like that. When you screamed, I thought I might have lost you when I couldn't escape."

"Inuyasha, daijoubu. I wasn't hurt or anything. I was just surprised. They-"

Inuyasha suddenly stood up and brought Kagome behind him. Finding Tetsusaiga, he held it up to the two unknowns threateningly. "Explain yourselves before I resume to killing you."

"Inuyasha, calm down. They're not here to fight. They're here to help."

"It's true. We don't mean any harm. We only wanted to see how much Kagome's progressed and how the connections were," the girl spoke.

"Connections?"

"Between the two of you. Apparently, both subjects need work, but we'll do all we can to fix that." The girl smiled playfully as she landed next to the guy.

"And tell me why we can trust you."

"Because you have no choice in the matter," the guy said in a very serious, but calm, tone.

"Is that a threat?"

He smirked. "Perhaps. I've heard of you and that renowned sword of yours. The Tetsusaiga, forged from your father's fang and then again from yours, nee? Guess it's not all that powerful if it was formed from your pathetic tooth."

"Would you like to see?" Inuyasha asked agitated.

"You couldn't even touch me with such trash."

"Inuyasha, calm down!"

"There's no way to avoid it. You'll just have to get used to it. Jirasu-daishou requested it, and we've already accepted. There's no way to back out of it now," the girl said, trying to pacify the two heated men.

"Chikushou! That damn Jirasu. Always butting in."

"Jirasu….daishou?"

"He's the head of _Seikyo no Tenshi_. He's an annoying little bastard who doesn't know when to keep his nose out others' business. So he assigned you two to look after us like we're a bunch of pups?"

"Sort of. He wants us to observe Kagome's progress, how you're handling the situation, and try to help restore Kagome's memory so we can get this case resolved. So until Kagome restores her memory and we figure out who was after you in the first place, you'll be seeing a lot of us. My name's Kyourime. And this bag of grumpy and temper is Kurokami. Isn't he adorable?" She latched on to Kurokami's arm like a little girl. "Well, we have to be going. Jirasu-daishou wants us to report ASAP. Don't worry. You'll be seeing us around a lot, so you won't miss us for long. Ja ne!"

Both leapt behind the wall and disappeared.

Inuyasha sighed and sheathed the Tetsusaiga.

"Well, looks like we have more help than we can handle."

"You got that right. Next time I see that Jirasu, I'll murder him."

"I'm sure he has good intentions. All of them."

"Keh. Whatever. Let's just go home."

* * *

Kagome had decided that everything was well enough for her and Inuyasha to return to their home. She was confident enough in herself to live on her own with Inuyasha, and Kaasan hadn't mind at all. As long as Kagome was comfortable with her decision, she felt it wasn't any of her business. Promising to stop by often, they returned across town to their home that had been vacant ever since they moved in with Kaasan. It was just like the way it had been left, and Kagome was glad since she had missed it.

Kagome walked from the bathroom with a towel draped across her head. _'A nice hot shower is just what the doctor prescribed. It feels good to be home. I kinda missed having a little privacy, not that Kaasan didn't give us any. I guess when a girl has her own home it feels different living her life there than living with her mother. Yeah, that's it. Having a house of my own does feel pretty good, especially when I have someone special that I can share it with. Speaking of whom, I wonder what Inuyasha's doing…'_

Kagome walked towards the master bedroom and was opening the door when she heard a loud booming sound from within that made her recoil. _'What?'_

"Chikushou!" she heard a voice from inside yell.

'_Inuyasha?' _She cracked the door to see Inuyasha punch the wall and again the boom resounded. His back was to her, but she didn't need to see his face to tell that he was in pain. She could feel it tugging at her heart strings as if each pluck was made in excruciating pain. She wanted to walk over to him, to comfort him, to ease him of whatever pain he was feeling. But she stopped from opening the door even further when he cursed again but weakly this time.

"Chikushou…I couldn't protect her again. I failed, and she could have been hurt. Some youkai could have attacked her when I was away. How could I have been so stupid to have left her like that? Chikushou!" Again, he punched at the wall.

Kagome backed away from the room after closing the door. Why couldn't she have realized it before? Why didn't she see it all those times he caught the sorrow in her eyes? He knew how she felt so useless to him, so weak that she couldn't protect herself. That's why he felt the need to protect her, to shield her from as he did. He knew that she was so fragile now, now that she was so wrapped and twisted in her confusion. So he wanted to keep her from feeling so by lending her his strength, but she still remained in his way. In her heart, she was holding him back and hurting him worse than herself.

Kurokami's words came back to her. However true and sincere they were, she still couldn't get the doubts in her mind. They were all too true to not be false. How could she fight something that seemed so true in reality, but her heart told her differently? She truly didn't know anymore.

**Good. Update. Might be a while before I return. I've been neglecting EE. That's all for now. Jaa!**

**BA326's Final Words**

How does one make a Dr. Pepper extra spicy? I've been asking myself lately. Working at the window taking orders the other day and some lady asked for a large Dr. Pepper with extra ice and I accidentally pressed extra spicy. I had too much fun that day. BTW, check out my BIO. I updated a couple of things, especially my quotes. And if you get confused about some of the Japanese words, just ask and I'll tell ya.


	11. Chapter 11 Discovery

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, no matter how much I hate to admit this. This anime/manga along with all of its characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. This disclaimer is valid to all chapters of **Forgiving Loss**. Though they do not belong to me, BlueAngel326 loves to toy with them, **_**a lot.**_

**Chapter 11 Discovery**

"Hey, Kagome! Check this out. I found some information on your Kyourime and Kurokami. It turns out that they're transferring agents from the Kyoto branch of Seikyo no Tenshi. It seems Jirasu-san called in a special favor from his cousin, the head of the branch in Kyoto, just for your case, Kagome."

Kagome walked over from some papers she was reading. "Seriously?" she asked Rin, sticking a spoonful of yogurt in her mouth.

"Yep. I managed to hack into Seikyo's information banks. This section tells me all the members in each branch, their positions and partners, and their current assignments. See? Here're you and Inuyasha, and Sesshy and I are here…"

"Wow…everyone's on here."

"Yep!"

"So, what else did you find out about those two?"

"They're here specifically here for you and Inuyasha. One, to ensure that you and Inuyasha don't fall into any trouble, y'know, make sure whoever's targeting you doesn't get anywhere. Two, track down the person or group that's targeting you. And three, help restore your memory."

"Restore my memory? But how?"

"Well, the girl, Kyourime, has a wide range of psycho-kinetic powers, from telekinesis to telepathy. Even a limited use of clairvoyance. She's pretty powerful, considering her powers are still growing. Her only surviving family is her uncle, who supports her both politically and power-wise. He too is a psycho-kinesis user."

"Guess that's how she was levitating while she fought Inuyasha. And what about the guy, Kurokami?"

"Well, there isn't much information on him, other than he has a brother in the company, possibly in the same branch, and that he's hanyou. It doesn't list his demon-type, though. His information's pretty confidential."

"Could you send me these pages and files? I want to look at them again later."

"Sure."

Kagome turned away. "Hanyou…like you and Inuyasha. And Kyourime, a psycho-kinetic user."

"Yeah. We'll probably find out more information about them soon. According to their assignment and what you and Inuyasha said about them, they'll be around a lot more often. Speaking of which, where is that stick in the mud?"

"Inuyasha? Oh, he went to make a few errands…which reminds of me. He'll be home soon, and I've still got to cook dinner." Kagome organized the papers that were on the table and walked towards the front of the house.

"If I find anything else, I'll send it to you, 'kay?"

"Hai. Arigatou, Rin."

"No problem. I had time to kill anyway. Ja ne!"

"Ja ne!"

"Oi. What are you doing sitting in the dark?" Inuyasha asked as he turned on the light in the computer room.

"Hm? Oh, welcome home," Kagome said as she sat up from her catnap at the desk. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, "I'm just looking through Seikyo's database. I must have fallen asleep. Dinner's ready if you're hungry."

"I'm not that hungry yet. But how did you manage to get into Seikyo's database? The whole thing is covered in first-class firewalls and protection."

"True, but we've got a better-than-first-class hacker. Rin sent me the codes and everything to get into its information banks. This is almost like checking my email."

"I _knew_ Rin was a bad influence," Inuyasha murmured.

Kagome giggled. "Don't worry. I'm not delving _too_ deeply into Seikyo. Just finding out more about everybody we know, including Kurokami and Kyourime. See, here're their files, and then ours. We're grouped by teams, and it gives all our stats, traits, everything, including relationships and past missions. It's like a log of everything we've done ever since we started working for them, plus some background."

"Hm. So, what did you find?"

"Well, you have a bad temper and consistently jump to conclusions. Rin likes roller coasters and mysteries, including cracking codes. Miroku's interested in women with-"

"Not THAT! I meant on Kurokami and Kyourime!"

"I know. Just playing." She leaned back, stuck out her tongue at him, and smiled.

"I swear, you act like a little kid sometimes," he mumbled.

"Look who's talking." Inuyasha gently poked her side, and she jumped a little. "Eep! What was that fo-?!"

She turned around to glare at Inuyasha, but he was merely two inches from her, face-to-face, grinning. "What was that?" he said in a cool voice.

"Eh…" Flustered and surprised, Kagome tried to lean back but lost her balance. She gasped and shut her eyes closed as she felt herself falling backwards, anticipating the impact, but it never came. She heard the chair hit the floor, but she didn't feel her body do so. Instead, she felt powerful arms wrapped around her waist and a firm body pressed against her petite frame. She looked up to stare into a pair of molten gold eyes that pierced her gaze and her very soul. She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears as her breath was caught in her throat. Her cheeks flushed as all her strength drained from her limbs, and she was standing by Inuyasha's firm hold on her alone.

She didn't know what to do, didn't know what to expect. She just wanted to stare at those piercing golden eyes and stay in that tight embrace, as his lips came ever so close to hers.

"Woof! Mail! Mail! Mail! Woof!" barked the little dog icon on the computer screen as it chased its tail before disappearing. Both surprised, Inuyasha released Kagome and stepped back as Kagome came back down to earth.

"Oh, um, m-my email. I-I wonder who it is…" Kagome said as she clicked back to her email, trying to disregard the awkwardness in the room.

"K-Keh. Next time, be more careful…clumsy idiot…" Inuyasha tried to clear the tension unsuccessfully.

"G-Gomen…ah, it's Rin."

"What does she want now?"

"It's about those two: Kurokami and Kyourime. She tried researching some more about them, but everything she's come across is super top-secret. There are so many barriers and protection programs locking the information that even _she_ can't get a hint out, and she's been trying for the past two hours. See?" Kagome said pointing to the screen. She caught Inuyasha's gaze but immediately turned around, her cheeks turning pink slightly.

"Seriously?"

"Y-Yeah. I wonder what's so top secret that even the database is so secure about it…"

"Well, you could always _ask_ me…"

"True, but…NANI?!" Both Inuyasha and Kagome looked out the open window to see the blue-haired girl floating upside-down looking at them.

"What the hell? What are YOU doing here? And how did you find out where we lived?"

"Duh. I'm psychic," she said in a very annoying tone.

"Why you-"

"Inuyasha, calm down. Kyourime-san…"

"Call me Kyou-chan!"

"Um…okay, Kyou-chan, why exactly _are_ you hanging outside of our window and how long have you been there?"

"Oh, just long enough to see that hot, steamy kiss about to happen!"

"Kya!" Kagome's face flushed beet red before she looked at Inuyasha and it turned an even redder color. She could have just fainted right there on the spot.

But Inuyasha didn't have the same effect. He growled lowly as he cracked his knuckles. "Alright, listen here, bit-"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome grabbed his arm to hold him back, and he caught the look on her face before backing down and blushing a little on his own.

"Kyou-chan, please explain why you are here."

"Well, Jirasu-daishou wants to meet with the four of us tomorrow morning, including Kuro-chan. He wants to talk about Kagome-chan's progress, our mission, and the two of you. Just reporting in. Well, gotta go. Jaa!" Kyourime disappeared from the window.

"Dammit. That stupid Jirasu again. What does he want?"

"Maybe…he's just trying to help."

"Keh. That'll be the day…"

"Well, let's just go ahead and eat. I'm _starving_…" Kagome logged out from the computer and left the room, avoiding his gaze.

Inuyasha watched her leave and frowned. Maybe…he was rushing it too much. She probably still needed some more time…

"Thank you for meeting on such notice, Kagome-san, Inuyasha-san," Jirasu spoke as he tried to straighten some documents on his desk.

"Keh. As if you would give us a choice," Inuyasha said annoyingly out loud.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome whispered as she nudged him.

"No, it is true. We have some very important business to discuss today. Otherwise, I would have left things as they are."

"Jirasu-daishou," buzzed in the secretary over the intercom. "Kyourime-san and Kurokami-san are here."

"Thank you. Send them to my office, please," he responded. A few moments later, the two walked in. "Good. Now that everyone has settled, Kagome-san how is your memory? Do you remember anything yet?"

Kagome was a little surprised that the attention in the room was shifted directly to her, and she could feel Inuyasha tense a little next to her, but she answered calmly, "I haven't regained much yet. I get glimpses and small flashbacks when I see certain objects or read something, but nothing major yet."

"That is to be expected. It is still too early to believe that you would recover anything. I hear from Kikyou-sama that you have been training, so that you can recover your powers, correct?"

"Hai."

"And how has that been?"

"I've become adept at archery, but I don't have full control over my spiritual powers yet. Kikyou-sama believes that it won't be too long before I can use my powers freely. She has…a lot of faith in me."

"We all do. You are a very important asset to Seikyo no Tenshi, and it was a tremendous loss when you were in that accident. We all hope that you recover soon." Jirasu looked Kagome in the eye, but she held her head down. Inuyasha became agitated.

"Alright, we all know that. Now get to the point. What is it that we're here for, old man?"

"Wakata. First, as you all have already met - however unconventional - there is no need for introductions. Kagome-san, for the next several months, Kyourime-san will be meeting with you at least once a week. She will be in session with you to talk and discuss what little you may remember. She will help you to forcibly recover whatever clues that lead to what really happened and to what are repressing your memories. You must cooperate, or all of our efforts may be in vain."

"Wakata."

"And Kyourime-san, I understand that this is your first time handling a situation like this. Do whatever you can to help Kagome-san restore her memories. Help her as much as you can."

"I'll try my best, sir."

"Good. Kurokami-san will act as a bodyguard as will Inuyasha-san, naturally. We must not assume that our enemy is satisfied with the situation as it is. If what Rin-chan says is what actually happened, then the enemy has planned for more than just Kagome-san's emotional breakdown. There is more to this plot than just that. Kyourime-san, Kurokami-san, that is all for today. You may be dismissed."

"Hai," they spoke together.

When the pair left, Jirasu turned to Inuyasha and Kagome.

"Inuyasha, Kagome-san, I know that this is a lot to be burdening you with at the present time…"

"Damn straight! You suddenly throw all this shit on us without even warning us. It's bad enough with what's happening now, but you're pissing me off."

"I give you my apologies. It was not my intention to worsen the situation for you. However, I have no choice. I have to decide what is best for my teams, and right now, I have already decided that I cannot allow you nor Kagome-san handle the investigations."

"Nani?! What are you saying?" Inuyasha said as he abruptly stood up.

"I am saying that I cannot allow you two to participate in any of the official investigations concerning this case. For the time being, Kagome-san is to be considered out of commission, and you are not allowed to become involved in any matter. You will still receive missions and assignments, but no one is to allow you information without my permission. Of course, you are still allowed to be informed of Kagome-san's progress-"

"What the fuck are you talking about?! Are you saying that I can't help solve the mystery that has wounded my mate?! I can't protect her like I should have when all of this began!"

"Yes. And no. You will still watch over her, but I cannot allow you to become involved more than you are already for this reason. Kagome-san needs you to be close. When you discover who is behind all of this, chances are you will lose both your anger and your judgment, and we may lose more than just the chance to apprehend him and recover anything else that may be lost. This is the best for the both of you."

"Don't tell me what the fuck is the best of us! You're telling all this bull crap that I don't want to hear! I know what I'm capable of and what is best for us, so don't tell me what the fuck is the best for us!"

"Inuyasha," Kagome spoke worriedly, trying to hold on to his arm.

"Fine. Show me proof. Show me what you are capable of and that you will not lose yourself to protect your mate. But until you do, you will do as I say. Go against a single order, and I will have you permanently detached from this case _and_ Kagome-san. Show me that you know what is best for this mission and Kagome-san, and I will allow you full authorization to this case. You are dismissed."

"Keh. Come on Kagome."

_June 6, 1999_

_Today we were off and Inuyasha invited me to an amusement park about 30 minutes from Tokyo. I haven't had so much fun in so long! We went on almost all the rides and several of the roller coasters AT LEAST 7 times. The best part was the Ferris wheel. I was SO scared when the cage in which we rode began to rock back and forth, but Inu-kun held my hand the whole time. In fact, he didn't let go for a while, even after we got off the ride. He was so nice to me; he even won me a stuff animal at one of the booths. It's a cute white rabbit holding tiny red heart. He was really sweet the whole time._

_When we came back in town, he treated me to dinner, even though I insisted on paying. Afterwards, we took a walk around Lake Okutama, just talking and having fun. When we almost finished circling the lake, we found a sakura tree that was still blooming, even though it was June! Suddenly, Inuyasha did the sweetest thing. He jumped into the tree and came down with one of the fullest cherry blossoms in hand. He placed it behind my left ear, and smiled. It was a…very beautiful smile. He told me that I was very beautiful. I almost died right there! But he didn't stop there. With his finger, he traced my jawbone from my ear to my lips, and we came so close to kissing. _

_Unfortunately, my darned cell started ringing, and everything fell apart. He didn't object to my answering it, and it was Kaasan asking where we were. She wasn't in a rush for me to home, so I still had some time to spend with Inu-kun._

_We sat under the sakura tree quietly for a while, awkwardly. Finally, cutting the tension, Inuyasha spoke very seriously._

"Higurashi-chan, I… I feel like I can trust you with anything, and you won't laugh at me or scorn me for anything I say. Truly, I do. In fact, you're the only person that I've trusted in a very long time. You make me believe…everything you say, like there's no need to hide anything from me. To me, you're a friend…and more. I-I want to tell you everything. I want to believe that I can be like you, be so open with everything. You're someone that I'm striving for. You've made me believe that I can and that someday I will. I know all of this sounds silly since I only met you two months ago…"

"Inuyasha, I don't think anything you sound is-"

"Please. Let me finish. I don't think I could try this again. There's something that I've hidden from you, but I feel like I don't have to hide it from you. I'm not sure how you will act, but I must show you. I don't blame you if you hate me for not telling you this, but I had to be sure…before I could show you."

_Suddenly, he stood up. He reached for his right wrist, for the beaded bracelet that he wore everyday. It was like the bracelet-form of a rosary. He slipped it, and suddenly, it was like an illusion unfolding in front of me. His usual shoulder-length silver hair grew past his waist and glowed unnaturally in the moonlight. His ears disappeared, and a pair of twitching white dog ears appeared on top of his head. His incisors grew tremendously into fangs that stuck out from his mouth when he closed it. His nails grew longer and sharper into claws, and he cracked his knuckles just by moving his fingers around. His pupils became small slits, just like cat's eyes. It was a total transformation from a human to something almost youkai-like. As I looked in awe, he dropped his head, casting his gaze to the ground._

"I…can understand if you hate me for telling or consider me a freak. I…just didn't want to hide it from you."

_I stood up slowly, and hesitantly, I reached for one his ears. They twitched under my touch. _"They're real?!" _I squeaked. _

"You're not scared? Mad?"

"Of what? You? Why would I be?"

"Well, because I'm…I'm…"

"Because of what you are? You are hanyou, and I accept that. I can't hate anyone because of what they are. I like you for just who you are."

_He blushed. _"Domo, Higurashi-chan."

"_Kagome_. You don't always have to be so formal."

"Ka-gome."

"Hai! But…can I ask one favor?"

"Anything."

"Can I play with your ears?"

"Um…if you really want to…"

"They're…just so KAWAII!" _He allowed me to rub them, but I noticed that he was blushing immensely. I was about to stop when he fell back, and I lost my balance and fell on top of him. When I managed to regain myself, I tried to push myself up, but he held me tight against his chest. _"I-Inuyasha-kun…"

"Domo, Kagome."

_When I looked up to ask him for what, I froze at the look he was giving me. His eyes were glowing with a passion that I wished to understand. I could feel his calm heartbeat beneath me as mine was beating erratically. He released me to brush my hair from my eyes. I could have gotten up and ran away with the fear of not understanding. I could have pushed him away as he leaned closer to me. But I didn't. I didn't want to leave him after everything he had just confessed. I didn't want to hurt him nor leave him alone. But most of all, I didn't leave because I wanted to stay with him, to _be_ with him. And he understood that. With that understanding and with that kiss, I wish to believe that I've fallen in love with him. Inuyasha, my first love._

Kagome closed the diary and walked out of her room with one thing on her mind. Well, possibly two. One, Inuyasha was her first, and possibly her only, love; and two, Inuyasha has dog ears! She walked into the study, and Inuyasha stood up at her entrance.

"What's wrong, Kagome?"

Kagome didn't answer but instead studied Inuyasha long and hard. She didn't see anything out of the ordinary, or at least for the moment. She grabbed Inuyasha's right arm, and Inuyasha almost snatched it from her but instead speculated as to what she was doing. "Kagome, what are you doing?"

"Wait a sec," she said as she discovered the bracelet exactly where she read it was. She pulled it off, and he transformed before her eyes without him doing a thing. His hair, nails, and fangs grew longer, and there, on top of his head, sat the pair of white dog ears, twitching ever so sporadically. She gasped as she tried to touch them, but Inuyasha jerked from her.

"Oi! What are you doing?"

"You really DO have doggie ears! Can I touch them? Please?!"

"You're just now realizing that?"

Kagome nodded. "I read about your transformation in my diary from high school a minute ago. Now please! Can I touch them?"

Inuyasha sighed. "Guess I have no choice, seeing as how you're all excited. Just don't go crazy…" Inuyasha leaned down some so she could get full access.

She gently rubbed them, watching as they jerked frequently when she brushed against the small hairs on the inside. She became so fascinated that she didn't even notice Inuyasha's reaction to her gentle strokes and caresses. Finally, when he couldn't take it, he grabbed her wrists and brought her closer. In a husky voice, he begged in her ear, "Please. Stop." He looked her in the eye, and she felt her heart skip as her stomach flipped and turned. Inuyasha could feel her reaction, and it just egged him on. His lips brushed against hers before claiming them, and Kagome fell against him. When he broke the kiss, he whispered as he nuzzled her neck, "Be careful. That kind of attention has this effect on me; so next time, I might not be able to hold back."

"Inuyasha…I'm sorry. I want to remember. That way, I can love you like you want me to."

"Don't worry. I can wait. Just don't rush things. I love you either way, so just stay Kagome."

"I'll try. I _really_ will."

**Well, after almost a year of negligence, I'm updating. Hopefully, I can get back on track to updating the rest of my stories before things get too hectic between school and work. Gomen nasai! Until next time!**

**BA326's Final Words**

My internet's been down for over a month, but it's working for now. Someone said my computer might be crashing, but I hope not. So for the past week, in between trying to update my stories and updating my other sites, I've had no time to rest, seeing as I am working full time like crazy this summer and have to get ready for my senior year. I miss being a little kid. All you had to do during the summer was eat, sleep, and have fun. I don't think I'll ever have a summer like that again. TT


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